The Official AF Joke Thread
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deepdiver32073
- Iconoclast Extraordinaire
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trashtalkr
- Sports Guru
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So we have another Bush hater in this house now...
"If there were no eternal consciousness in a man, if at the bottom of everything there were only a wild ferment, a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything great or inconsequential; if an unfathomable insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath everything, what would life be but despair?"
Soren Kierkegaard
Soren Kierkegaard
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deepdiver32073
- Iconoclast Extraordinaire
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SolRage
- Posts: 132
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I wouldn't say I'm a hater. I just like that joke. /:D" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt=":D" />
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Deepak
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hotheat
- Posts: 30897
- Joined: Tue May 16, 2006 6:37 pm
Bedroom Golf Rules
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Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one club and two (2) balls.
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the holes.
Owner of the course must approve the equipment before play may begin.
For most effective play, the club must have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict the shaft length to avoid any damage to the course.
Unlike outdoor golf, the goal is to get the club into the hole, while keeping the balls out.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as deemed necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course in the future.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention being given to the well-formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they may have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider to be a private course.
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.
Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the request of the course owner.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
The course owner will be the sole judge as to who is the best player.
Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the course owner, and the rules are subject to change. For this reason many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.
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Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one club and two (2) balls.
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the holes.
Owner of the course must approve the equipment before play may begin.
For most effective play, the club must have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict the shaft length to avoid any damage to the course.
Unlike outdoor golf, the goal is to get the club into the hole, while keeping the balls out.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as deemed necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course in the future.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention being given to the well-formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they may have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider to be a private course.
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.
Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the request of the course owner.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
The course owner will be the sole judge as to who is the best player.
Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the course owner, and the rules are subject to change. For this reason many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.
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Deepak
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LOL. The last bit about the membership was hillarious as hell. Thanks hotheat
WHEN THE RICH WAGE WAR ITS THE POOR WHO DIE
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SolRage
- Posts: 132
- Joined: Sat Jul 29, 2006 3:03 pm
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking
guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and
asks him what he is drinking.
"Magic Beer," he says.
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the
bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth
talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and
says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you."
He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies
around the building three times and comes back in the
window.
The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window,
flies around the building three times, and comes back
in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer,
so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what
I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out
the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in
her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know,
Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."
guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and
asks him what he is drinking.
"Magic Beer," he says.
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the
bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth
talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and
says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you."
He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies
around the building three times and comes back in the
window.
The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window,
flies around the building three times, and comes back
in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer,
so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what
I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out
the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in
her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know,
Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."
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Deepak
- Posts: 2789
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LOL that was a good one. But be advised that A is a strong believer of superman. So be weary of that fact lol.
WHEN THE RICH WAGE WAR ITS THE POOR WHO DIE
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SolRage
- Posts: 132
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QUOTE(Deepak)LOL that was a good one. But be advised that A is a strong believer of superman. So be weary of that fact lol.Then either he can take a joke or my ass is sooooo banned. /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" /> /:D" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt=":D" />
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