The Official AF Joke Thread

[hotheat]

[hotheat]

[hotheat]

The Golden Fish "One day a man went fishing. At one moment he catches golden fish, which tells him to let it go and it will grant him three wishes. A man thinks for about a moment, let the fish go and asks:

- I want to be as handsome as Brad Pitt and I want the most luxurious house on world and an extra room filled with the most beautiful women on planet, who I can fuck all day long

-It will be done, now you can go home - said fish

So, man, went home, to find his house a big, large, gold plated palace with the most expensive cars parked in front etc. When he walked in the home, he looked himself in the mirror and saw that he looks just like Brad Pitt. After that he went to the backroom and after opening the door, he fell stunned. The room was filled with the best looking girls he have ever imagined, who were horny as hell. So he started enjoying his new life: spending money, shooting movies and fucking his own harem. After month or two, when he got used to his new life, he remembered golden fish and decided to go and find it and thank it for everything it done for him. Next day, he went on the exact same spot and started fishing for the golden fish. After several hours he finally caught it. Fish said:

- Please if you let me go, I will grant you... Wait a minute, I already granted you 3 wishes, what do you want now?

- Forgive me, said man, but I wanted to thank you for the things you have done for, because nobody was so nice to me, ever. I want to do something for you too. Is there anything that you wish, or need ?

- You want something to do for me ? Really ? - asked fish

- Yes, definitely - answered man

- Ok, there IS one thing you can do for me. You see I was a little girl, who was naughty, so old witch charmed me into this golden fish and put me in this river, to be fished out all my life and granting wishes to people. You can help me by breaking this spell.

- How can I do that ? - asked man

- All you need to do is to put me on your dick.

- You ?! On my dick ?!

- Yes that is the only way for breaking this spell...

The man thought for a moment. He did come here to help fish, but this was absurd. Finally he decided that he must help fish, because that's what he promised.

- Okay, I'll do it.

- Super ! Thank you !

So he took the fish and put it on his dick. After that suddenly magic cloud goes PUFF and golden fish turns into 13 year old girl sitting on his dick."

- And that's what REALLY happened judge, I SWEAR !

[hotheat]

[5829]

Two men sat together in a compartment on the Trans-Siberian Express. The ride was long and noisy, but the men were engrossed with their laptops. After a few hours the first man drew a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and offered them to the second man.

"Cigarette?" said the second man. "I tried one once…didn't really enjoy it. But, please, you go right ahead."

The first man smoked in silence and the train rumbled on for several more hours. Eventually, the first man opened his suitcase and brought out a bottle of vodka, offering some to his traveling companion.

"Vodka?" said the second man. "I tried it once…didn't really enjoy it. But, please, you go right ahead."

The first man sipped slowly at the vodka and stared out at the fat snowflakes falling past the train window, then returned to his laptop. After several more hours he looked up, alarmed. "I'm getting a funny error message." he said. "Do you think I could have a virus?"

"Virus?" said the second man. "I had one once. My son took care of it for me…. You know, he's in the next compartment. He's good with PCs. You might like to ask him to take a look."

"Excuse me," said the first man after a pause. "Do you by any chance have only one son?"

[g00b3r]

I don't get it...... :?

[darklighter1]

Ya know...neither did I but I didn't want to look stupid....which ya'd think I'd be used to by now.

[g00b3r]

Maybe the guy wanted to try the other guys son? Or maybe he tried him already and didn't care too much for it? Or maybe he did like it and wanted to try it again?

I dunno........I'm just way confused. :?

And um..........are you saying that I'm making myself look stupid? haha

[darklighter1]

Maybe the guy wanted to try the other guys son? Or maybe he tried him already and didn't care too much for it? Or maybe he did like it and wanted to try it again?

I dunno........I'm just way confused. :?

And um..........are you saying that I'm making myself look stupid? haha

NO you're brave enough to admit it. I was reading it and thinking, am I that dumb that I understand forms of algebra better than this joke?

I think the son has cigarettes that the second guy not the first guy wanted while drinking his vodka but only cause the first guy likes that it's snowing..HA HA ha..heh..nope that's not it. This joke is tougher than LOST.

[Skinny Bastard]

seriously? I think it is funny as hell...
Vodka = 1 time
Cigs = 1 time
Internet = 1 time

so.... the how many times do you think he tried sex? only 1 fucking time (no pun intended)... so
I'm guessing only 1 son.... :p