ADN

Vaccinations are female because they'll stick it to you every chance they get.

Good one, D-squared.

Cars are female:
1) Doesn't matter what they look like, they don't do you any good until you turn 'em on.

2) The "Faster" they are, the better

3) Everyone likes to take 'em for a quick ride around the block...

4) But once you "drive 'em" off the lot, their value goes down and you are already thinking about the next model.....

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. 'House,' in French, is feminine - 'la maison.' 'Pencil,' in French, is masculine 'le crayon.' One puzzled student asked,'What gender is 'computer'?'

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups, appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether 'computer' should be a masculine or feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computer'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('le computer'), because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Web Pages:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

Tire - male, because it goes bald and becomes overinflated.

Kidney - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

Shoe - male, because it’s usually not polished, and the tongue often hangs out.

Hourglass - female, because over time, everything shifts to the bottom

Hammer - male, because, even though it hasn’t evolved much over thousands of years, it’s handy to have around.

Hot Air Balloons:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

Sponges:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

The Remote Control:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Wow, great bump 5829...But I still can't think of one...Maybe after you drop one, you suggest one..?

Like...

Velcro tie strips...Male or Female..?

Great suggestion to make a game out of it....

so.... Velcro tie strips are female because:

They can hold everything together against the toughest of forces... until you put the right pressure in the right direction and they totally come undone.

Sun glasses are....

ok - looks like I'll answer my own.

Sunglasses are female.... because ... the cheap ones can be just as good as the expensive ones... but we all like showing off the expensive ones anyway. :P

Convertibles are ......

Female, because they're no fun unless the top is off.

Smart phones are...

Female.Cos they are loud & multi-task with ease.

Stuff is..

Stuff is male - because it can is incredibly non-specific.

Snow is......