ADN

raum, I need an elaboration on the difference between worry and fear...To me, worry is just the dollar menu version of fear...If you are able to kill fear in your life, why not worry too? Is there some intrinsic quality to worrying that keeps you inclined to not dump it out of your bag o' stress?

Aemeth wrote:raum, I need an elaboration on the difference between worry and fear...To me, worry is just the dollar menu version of fear...If you are able to kill fear in your life, why not worry too? Is there some intrinsic quality to worrying that keeps you inclined to not dump it out of your bag o' stress?

When I say "worry" - it is a good thing. Worry is not something that eats me up because I do not approach it with fear. Worry is really just a form of contemplation if you are not controlled by fear.

When I say I "worry" I mean I entertain the notion of how entropy may be degrading my health, my wealth, my relationships, my nation, my species, my environment, and anything else in ways I am or am not aware of. I trouble shoot systems on the basis of what *might* go wrong. I make sure it is prevented if possible, and create contingencies for disasters that hopefully never occur. If you have a plan "B", it is because you put the force of "worry" to work for you - in the wisdom that comes from learning to adapt. Most advanced cultures have a systematic system of "worry" that is integrated even closer than religion. For example, "the News" in its purist form is a complicated system of worry - specifically about current events outside the scope of direct experience for most people - that may still impact their lives.

Now that same force of worry, when distorted by fear is dispair. and this is something that really leads to stupid actions really - it is when suspicion interferes with intuition and contigency becomes baseless - see most post-911 efforts that try to regulate a population that has no borders...

Ok...so, entertain a hypothetical situation for me...Somebody puts a gun to your girlfriend's head...Are you saying fear can be transcended even in a situation such as this? How would a thought process like that occur?

Aemeth wrote:Ok...so, entertain a hypothetical situation for me...Somebody puts a gun to your girlfriend's head...Are you saying fear can be transcended even in a situation such as this? How would a thought process like that occur?

Someone puts a gun to my girlfriend's head, huh?

My thought:

0. Am I armed? I ALWAYS indentify a gun first. A shotgun is much different that a semi. are they comfortable with it? is she conscious. are they flustered. read their eyes and body language. read the situation, demands, connection, if any to the situation. Basically, enter M.O.A.B. (Management of Agressive Behavior) mode that I trained people in the navy to deal with. I have run over 200 drills to deal with this situation with everyone from my ship's captain to my best navy bud. i have a "on/off" switch for every emotion in my heart. I am not afraid of it, because I didn't instigate it. The fear of the gunman and the victim is enough fear in the situation. And the more fear there is, the more confusion there is. If I can resist fear, I can attempt to control the situation. The first step is to detach emotionally from the situation. the more partial I appear to victim or assailant, the less the control I have at the fulcrum of the situation. My girlfriend has a vested interest in surviving. The assailant has a vested interest in (whatever.) That is enough fear, and vested interest, in the situation. The less of either of these I have, the more chance I have of controlling the situation. If not, I can't control the situation, and thus the gunman does. He decides if we die. That is the worst situation.

Then, all the questions answered, not necessarily in this order:

1. Proximity
2. Appearance
3. Location
4. History
5. Motivation
6. Conciliation
7. Education
8. Intoxication
9. Audience
10.Risk

I can factor these all in less than fifteen seconds. and talk to you the whole time. and can tell you that if it comes down to I have no control; I have nothing. I will gladly make sure she is the least likely to die as best I can, but if i can't and I am not armed or bound - I will escape - and dedicate my life to destroying him and his in the most painful and complete way possible. For the anger not secured in place with fear is a terrible wrath with a strong stomach, clear conscious, and a big appetite for destruction. There are few things I have a SOLID sense of loyalty to, and even less are actual people. BUT - my beloved is one. and there was no one such as her before - and i will likely not let another EVER influence me so directly again. If someone forcibly takes that away and does not allow it to run its course, which is the single most unique interaction I have had in this life - there are not enough demons in hell and angels in heaven to keep me from rending his soul into the goddam abyss, even if it costs me a part of my own.

Heh, very James Bondian minus the care for the woman.

I have further questions though:

It seems that because you have feelings for the woman, some element of fear must exist. However, you recognize that fearing will cost you control of the situation and will ultimately hurt your chances of turning the situation in your favor. So do you really not fear, or have you just become a master of the art of repression to the point where are trained to be indifferent toward the fear?

I think fear is a helpful ally...I think its impossible to be rid of it all together, but you said the key word, control...If your fear gives you focus to the task at hand, rather than inducing panic, then I think you're doing about as good as you can do...Fear can directly tie into self preservation, which should again, lead back to some form of control...If you're so afraid of something that you cannot think clearly, then you may as well be drunk, high, or any other thing you can think of that inebriates you from the norm...And fear is not always panic...I think it 80% affects your cognitive responses...

I can see nothing positive in fear...maybe it's because I had fear too many times in my life...lol

Fear should be used to determine the borders of our own knowledge, since we fear the things we do not know.