ADN

Grammarian





Grammarian usually has little to contribute to a discussion and possesses few effective weapons. To compensate, he will point out minor errors in spelling and grammar. Because of Grammarian's obvious weakness most Warriors ignore him.

Loopy





Loopy's messages are incomprehensible to all but himself. Loopy is easily aroused and exuberant in battle and fearlessly flings himself at any Warrior - even Kung-Fu Master. Loopy's main weapons consist of a disarming array of nonsequiturs, tautologies, and bizarre metaphors, which can often gain him an advantage in the initial stages of an attack. Combatants very quickly realize, however, that Loopy is a certifiable nut case and generally avoid further engagement. Jerk and Evil Clown revel in egging Loopy on for their own amusement. CAUTION: Loopy cannot be defeated with conventional weapons - any response to his attacks will provoke a fusillade of incoherent messages, so Loopy is best left undisturbed.

Kung-Fu Master





Though Kung-Fu Masters are powerful Warriors, they generally choose not to fight. Many lesser Warriors delude themselves into thinking that they are masters of war, but few are the genuine article. The true Kung-Fu master fully appreciates his own superiority and is therefore unruffled by petty provocations. When forced to fight, however, he quickly crushes his opponent with devastating blows.

Rat





Rat prefers to attack with private messages rather than out in the open. CAUTION : If a Warrior starts to get the better of the fight he will suddenly post out of context excerpts of his opponent's messages to the list. When taken to task for betraying private correspondence he will insist that he did it because he was being harassed or that his adversary poses a threat to other, more vulnerable Warriors, such as Innocence Abused.

Toxic Granny




Warriors often underestimate Toxic Granny's fighting abilities. She can be very aggressive, and because of the deference paid to the elderly, not only does Toxic Granny easily attract allies to aid in her defense, but her foes are reluctant to employ their strongest weapons against her. Prudent Warriors avoid confrontations with Toxic Granny because there is ignominy in defeat and no glory in victory.

Necromancer




Necromancer has a supernatural ability to bring long-dead forum discussion threads back to life. After having been flogged to death the thread may have been deceased for many years, and bringing it back may have scant relevance to the current topic, yet Necromancer will unexpectedly exhume the thread™s rotting corpse, and strike horror in the forum as its grotesque form lurches into the discussion. The monster, instantly recognized by all who knew it in life, seems at first to breathe and have a pulse, but, alas, it is beyond Necromancer™s skill to fully restore the thread™s original vitality. The hideous apparition may frighten away some of the weaker Warriors or Warriors badly wounded in former battles, but the thread is only a shadow of its former self and very quickly expires.

Unlike Archivist, Necromancer compulsively saves every forum message in carefully preserved archives for future use in battle, while Necromancer collects departed threads merely for the thrill of resurrecting them. Some say he performs this unnatural act out of malice, others say he can™t help himself, but no one really knows.

Jerk





Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth

Troller





Troller is looking for a response...ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone...ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release. Nonetheless, he can upset the delicate ecology of a discussion forum. Once a forum becomes aware of his presence, however, all feeding activity ceases and Troller must move on to more promising waters.

Troglodyte





Troglodyte seems to have emerged from the mists of time untouched by human evolution. Devoid of a single progressive idea and lacking the slightest awareness of social and cultural advances, Troglodyte has developed an incoherent political philosophy that he characterizes as "conservative" or "libertarian", but which could be more accurately described as "bigoted narcissism". His aggressive posturing often frightens off weaker, more timid Warriors. In pitched battle, however, Troglodyte easily loses control and his attack quickly degenerates into a rant. Just for the fun of it, Weenie, Issues. Pinko and Evil Clown will sometimes deliberately goad him into a towering rage.

Royals




Whether through virtue, contributions, force of personality or sheer longevity certain forum participants will rise to form an aristocracy. While it is generally taboo to openly acknowledge the class distinctions, the hierarchy is well understood by all. While for the most part the Royals rule with magnanimity, they will not tolerate impertinence from the hoi polloi. It is their habit to remain aloof from petty squabbles among their subjects, but when full-scale war breaks out their intervention can be decisive.

Profundus Maximus





Profundus Maximus eagerly holds forth on all subjects, but his thin knowledge will not support a sustained assault and therefore his attacks quickly peter out. Profundus Maximus often uses big words, obscure terms and...ahem...even Latin to bluff his way through battle..

The Swarm






A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with an offending message, the Swarm will erupt and fly at their victim from all directions. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless individual attacks can be easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must eventually yield. WARNING: Only those who are highly skilled in Swarm management techniques should attempt to wade into a Swarm hive. but even with protective clothing opposing Warriors should expect to suffer a few stings.

Netiquette Nazi





Netiquette Nazi is in control and does not tolerate back talk, especially from a sniveling worm like you. She demands the strictest adherence forum protocols and rules of engagement . If you deviate in the slightest you WILL be punished. Even Admin is careful not to attract her ire.

Weenie





Weenie is a very sensitive guy, and it angers and saddens him that everyone isn't just as sensitive as he. An admitted male feminist, Weenie is ever vigilant against anti-progressive attitudes. Though he seldom comes into personal contact with the working classes, he keenly feels the pain of their oppression nonetheless . Weenie's chief antagonists are Troglodyte, Evil Clown, Capitalista and sometimes Ideologue. Because of his natural petulance Weenie can easily be goaded into battle, but he is encumbered by a tendency to throw temper tantrums when severely pressed.

Stealth





Stealth prefers to go into battle disguised or heavily camouflaged, often using pseudonyms, anonymous mail servers and multiple e mail addresses. Operating from a position of anonymity he can launch vicious attacks with little fear of reprisals. Because of his cowardice Stealth is often dismissed by other Warriors as an unworthy adversary.

Klaxon




Klaxon, the internet Chicken Little, raises the alarm for each and every paranoid conspiracy theory, Federal Big-Brother scheme, internet hoax, and latest computer virus. No black helicopter alert is so ludicrous, no urban legend so implausible, that he will not pass it along as accepted fact (in ALL CAPS with multiple exclamation marks). Congratulations, you are recipient 16,747 of today's Urban Myth. CAUTION: Evil Clown or even Klaxon himself may sometimes spread false alarms just to stir up trouble.

Evil Clown





Evil Clown is very quick with a joke, but his jests always have a barb. He has little patience for in-depth discussions and will often disrupt exchanges between serious forum participants by introducing irrelevant topics, fatuous quips, and offhand comments. His greatest thrill is to taunt and humiliate weaker or more plodding Warriors with his snappy ripostes. Not a particularly powerful Warrior, Evil Clown will attempt to avoid defeat by accusing his attacker of having no sense of humour.