There is one thing about this movie you need to key in on if you're planning on maybe seeing this...Unless you have an absolute hardon for Megan, or have a 7 year old that does, I don't know why you'd be seeing it anyway, but...yeah....
"From the writer of Juno"
Now, I like Ellen Page as much as the next man, but I doubt any person is capable of speaking in cleverly crafted quips each and every single time they open their mouth...If you thought Juno was O.K., but hated that aspect of this, you should know to steer very clear of this movie...The dialog stretched sooooooooooo fucking far in this movie it wasn't even funny...Something like, "I'm not even a back door virgin anymore...And for the record, that hurts...I had to sit on a bag of peas for a week..." Yeah...If you love to look at Megan but aren't really sold on her acting...PLEASE stay clear of this movie...Now...For the curious...
A rating: :twisted: :o :? :?: :(
And spoilers...
Spoiler:
The entire story is suspsect...I don't think I could have come up with a more ridiculous story by trying...Basically, Megan is your everyday, hot as fire horny high school girl with a totally geeked out best friend living in a shit hole small town with an interesting name...A band comes to town, and for some reason, "Jennifer" decides to climb into a van with 5 or 6 complete strangers...We see her next completely on some other shit, and the story commences...
Now, to their credit, I must say...Megan is already otherworldly cute, I'll give her that...But man did she look fucking scary...Seriously, if this had been a horror movie, she'd be right up there with the girl from The Ring...
But anyway, that aside, the rest of the movie is kinda stupid, basically...Megan sexes up the dumbest motherfuckers in school and eats them...
The lesbian scene though..? ALMOST worth the price of admission...Had their been any actual nudity in fact, I would probably pay to see it again...
I mention that scene because that just so happens to be the climax of the movie...Jennifer basically tells her best friend what happened to her the night she flew off with the band...And to make a long story short, the movie just...Gets all too predictable, cliche, and kinda ridiculous...I mean, really, really fucking ridiculous...In all phases...I couldn't believe what I was watching, and had to check to see if it was in fact a Rated-R movie...It was, so that meant they wanted adults to watch it...
For example...Needy, who is Jennifer's BFF, has a goody 2 shoes ass boyfriend...At the end of the movie, as they are heading towards the school dance, the boyfriend is given a pink bottle of pepper spray...Yes pink...Yes pepper spray...Of course, instead of fucking driving to the dance like a normal person might if a serial killer were loose, he's walking...And yes, Jennifer intercepts him, seduces him entirely too easy, and takes him to some abandoned pool house...
Needy, who didn't go to the dance with her boyfriend because she wanted to be there to keep an eye on Jennifer, doesn't figure out that Jennifer is probably going to eat him next (Guys, this shit is horrible, I promise you) until its almost too late...Of course, she runs out of the dance and happens upon the same random ass pool house, just in time to catch Jennifer feasting on her man's neck...Needy dives in, tackles Jennifer, who vanishes for a second...When she pops back up, the dumb ass boyfriend tosses her the pink pepper spray, and Needy, who is absolutely the only person in town to know Jennifer is a fucking demon, sprays her with it...
Yes, the pink pepper spray temporarily disabled her......................... :?
Fast forward a bit, and Jennifer is about to kill them both...Needy, the nerdy girl from the other side of school, is not afraid for her life...She's too busy spouting off all this fucking...Dialog...With Jennifer...The boyfriend jumps up, stabs Jennifer with an abnormally sharp pool cleaner...
Jennifer: Oh shit, I'm bleeding...Needy, do you have a tampon..?
Needy: No...
Jennifer: Damn...Just thought I'd ask... (Then jumps out of the window)
Un-fucking-believeable...
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:16 pm
by Drew
I don't really think Megan Fox is all that hot to begin with...and now that she's been in two of the worst movies of all time (yes I think TF2 was that bad....and I'm just going to throw this movie in that list without even seeing it) its obvious she's just riding her looks to get her paid...which makes me lose respect for her.
The movie looked terrible, and based on your description, sounds far worse than it looked.
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:35 pm
by Sir Jig-A-Lot
^My exact thoughts on all you just said,Drew.
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:07 am
by -84
I think the only reason people talk about her is because Hollywood pushes her on us.
Not to sound like a needless fanboy. But noone can ever explain to me where she came from.
Like why is she every white males dream now and no one talks about Odette Yustman.
Megan Fox just seem manufactured to me.
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 3:41 am
by Sir Jig-A-Lot
-84 wrote:I think the only reason people talk about her is because Hollywood pushes her on us.
Indeed.
Not to sound like a needless fanboy. But noone can ever explain to me where she came from.
She literally washed Michael Bay's car in skimpy shit to get the Transformers role. Before that she was just one of that 90210 guy's hos.
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 1:28 am
by AYHJA
-84 wrote:Like why is she every white males dream now and no one talks about Odette Yustman.
Odette is that deal...I'd pile drive Megan Fox to get to that...
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 2:12 am
by -84
lol
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:54 am
by Dietrich
My two bits (two cents adjusted for inflation):
If Megan Fox is the hottest thing since sliced bread (toasted sliced bread, that is) and has "libido of a 15-year-old boy", why hasn't she done a proper topless shoot like for Maxim or a nude shoot like for Playboy?
I wager it's because she knows that keeping the goods hidden keeps her fans' imaginations working overtime, just like how Lucy Pinder kept her fans on tenterhooks for at least a year (if not longer; I'm not sure of the time span involved) before finally doing what almost every other British lad-mag model had already done.
I think Megan Fox's I'm-the-hottest-thing-you'll-ever-see aura is (at least in part) an act. And then she says she doesn't want to play such "sexualized roles" as what's-her-name in Transformers. Riiiiiiight.
And to top it all off, if she hadn't been such a tattooed, skinny, always-looking-sultry "hottie"... she could have been the next Jennifer Connelly.
Speaking of whom, any nominations for the title of Jennifer Connelly's Heiress Apparent?
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:32 am
by AYHJA
Can't say I've been able to recognize a timeless all natural beauty like Jennifer yet Diet...I mean, she could be out there, but they seem to just be manufacturing actresses here lately...For some reason, Jessica Biel comes to mind, but even she has seemingly found a roller coaster to get on...
Megan used to have some nice curves...It's almost painful to look at her now...
Re: Jennifer's Body
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:17 am
by Dietrich
Jessica Biel? A good nomination. She's got a lot going for her looks-wise. But there's something... not quite right about her lips.
Now that I've noticed the mention of Odette Yustman and googled her likeness.... Yeah, why does no one talk about her anymore? Oh, right; because Odette Yustman doesn't do that "I'm the hottest thing you'll ever see" thing like Megan Fox does.
Sadly, the same thing could be said of Odette Yustman -- "if only she weren't so darn skinny"...