ADN

There are 3 events that roughly decided the course of my life. The first one is very personal and I will forever keep to myself (nothing bad, just personal).

The second was when I decided to go to study abroad. That single decision has determined the course of pretty much my entire adult life. It has directly affected not only that I studied in a foreign country, but also that I have worked in a few others, one in which I met mrs bd55 /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> , who is the third and probably most relevant one. Being with her has also given my life a direction that I would have never taken if I had been single. It is a direction that has made me grow in so many ways. I owe her what I am today.

beautiful Bd,

what countries did you study in?

what country did you meet your wife in, if I may ask?

raum I hate my dad passionatly and I will never forgive him for anything that he did and no amount of time will help me forgive him but I will heal from the wounds that he gave me, be that physical or emotional.In one of the songs there is this line "The scars remind us that the past is real " and you know what the past determines our present and future. Even though i was beaten up and had some if not many emotional turmoils, it has made me strong to see life with a whole new attitude. And Ayhja, seeing your mother smile even after all the sadness and crap that has gone around in our life is just an amazing feeling. Nothing can beat that.

Bd going into a new country and starting a new life is never easy. It becomes easier with time. I came to New Zealand, I had no mates and I remember the first guy who even talked to me and the mean az fat bitch that was the dean LOL, but yeah friends make it easier as you get to learn about the culture and style of life that the new country and its people have.

I know I'm a little late coming into this one, so it might be long.

Rim, it's hard to think of something to say to someone who's suffered such a terrible loss, but despite that I don't know you that well, I do know one thing about your character. The fact that you listened to your mother in her most desperate time of need, putting aside all of your wishes for her to live, to take her off life support. I know she's thankful you're the one that helped her take that first step to a better place, and I'm sure not only will you have her memories with you constantly- but her spirit as well. Many heartfelt condolences and hugs.

And Dee, I don't blame you for never wanting to forgive your father- but it's true when you say that he's made you stronger. Not many people can say they've overcome real adversity, and I'd say you've done swimmingly. =)

As for myself, you impatient people, I'd have to say the thing which has affected my most has been my mother. I know, I know- I said only one event, not a combination of experiences. But living with my mom is an event considering the fact that she's clinically insane.

She's been married...alot. But I've only been around for two of the husbands. My dad, who I see every other weekend, and my stepdad, who raised me from when I was four until about twelve.

I had no idea that my mom wasn't "normal" until her second divorce. (She can be fine until something triggers her condition to act up- marital trouble does the trick quite well). To make a long story short- objects flew, people got injured for a few months and then my stepdad left (who at that point I considered to be my dad because he had acted as one for so long). Then next morning my mother woke me up hysterical.

Some parents abuse their kids physically, but mine chooses to do so mentally. She told me that I was having sex with my stepdad and she knew all about it. That when she went to the hospital she could see people having orgys on the floor tiles, that her grandmother married her lawyer and they fucked on our kitchen table. That I was a dirty rotten whore who deserved to go to hell for being such a slut and giving it up to my grandfather. Everything she told me had to do with some sick sexual fantasy that she had all worked out in her mind. For four hours I sat there listening to what sex positions my father most enjoyed when I fucked him and how my mom was bleeding inside because of it. When she finally left to go to the bathroom I called my grandmother, who called 911.

I then got to wave goodbye as they secured my mom to a stretcher and gave her shots to calm her down since she wouldn't go willingly. She was gone for thirty days and then came back very depressed with an eviction notice from the divorce settlement in hand. We then moved to a disgusting apartment and I took care of her for awhile until she could get a house and some anti-depressants, lol.

Since then it's been calmer. She still has her quirks though. I'm not allowed to contact my stepdad, which hurts considering I still think of him as my dad. I can't use the house phone or go out with friends, I'm not supposed to associate with boys (she obviously doesn't know about Drew), and I can't use the internet (my dad got me a wireless internet card). There's about a million other things I can't do, but I think this little rant has gotten quite long enough.

I like to joke that my mom's favorite things to hate are medicine, men, and me- and living with her has been an invaluable experience. Not only do I know how to manage a household, I know how to make the best of things. Truthfully, I don't have that much to complain about. I live in middle-class comfort (my mom did well in her divorces- that's what happens when you marry for money with no prenuptail), and I have a father who loves me tons and is one of my best friends. And then I have the love of my life- who happens to understand my crazy situation and will help deveolp elaborate schemes so we can spend time together. =)

WOW...

Cheers to you young lady..! Man, that's all I can say.....You do well to make the most of things...Good for you...

But, after reading the previous VU thread on behavior, I'm now fascinated with your mom... /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

What previous thread?

And thank you mucho. =)

Nature vs Nurture...

I see.

::Goes to read what people have posted there::

I forgot about that thead.

Cy, I'm sorry for all that you've had to go through. I bet that's really tough. I don't know if you'd consider me lucky or not to have a pretty normal family. Only bad thing was a Grandpa who didnt' want to see me, ran away for a couple years, and was really depressed. He died a couple years ago. I feel bad for everyone who has really tough times like that but it does make you stronger