The Official AF Joke Thread

[Deepak]

In other words all of them lol

[5829]

Not all of them. I have not done the breast feeding thing. And maybe one or two others.

I had green pizza for St. Patrick's Day. It was on the table for the last month.

[g00b3r]

Little Johnny was sitting in Sex Ed class and the teacher drew a picture of a penis. The teacher turned to the class and asked, "Now can anyone tell me what this is?". Little Johnny raised his hand and the teacher said, "Ok Little Johnny let's hear it". Little Johnny said, "Well all I know is my Daddy has 2 of them". "TWO?!?!", the teacher remarked. "Yes ma'am", said Little Johnny, "One he uses to pee with and a BIG one he uses to brush Mama's teeth with". :o


:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

[5829]

Did you hear about the insomniac who was hauled off to the police station for resisting arrest?


What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash!


What is black,white and red all over?
A Newspaper!


Why did the man take a pencil to bed before sleeping?
To draw the curtains!


What's black and white and red all over?
A penguin holding it's breath!


What do you call a fly with no wings, arms, or legs?
A raisin!


Knock knock....
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who???

Luke out below!


Why was the food afraid of the computer?
Because it might take a byte!


What is the computer's favorite dance?
Disk-o!


Why did the spider cross the keyboard?
Because it needed to get to the web site!


Why was the computer so thin ?
Because it hadn't had many bytes !


How did the egg cross the road?
Scrambled!


Why did the monster truck drive on the side walk?
Because he didn't want to run over the chicken!


Why didn't the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!


Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the opossom it could be done"


Why did the egg go to the jungle?
He was an eggsplorer!


What do you call a hamburger bun in a rocking chair?
Rockin' roll!


What's the happiest state in the union?
Merry-land!


What U.S. state is best at producing cheese?
Swiss-consin!


What did the daddy volcano say to his son volcano?
"I lava you"


What goes thousands of miles and never moves?
A highway!


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?

Police stop saying those dumb knock- knock jokes!


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Britney Spears.
Britney Spears who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Britney Spears.
Britney Spears who?

Oops, I did it again!


This is a book I really recommend. It's called "How to Keep Your Bathroom Clean".
It's by Ty D. Toilet!


Why did the sea gull fly into the library?
To get some bookworms!


What did the page say to the cover?
You're squishing me!


Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?"
Student: " Ten Q."
Teacher: "You're Welcome!"


What did the mathbook say to his troubled friend?
Sorry, I cant help you; I got too many problems of my own!


What is a polar bear's favorite shape??
ICE-osceles triangle!


What did the math book say to his friend when he got a problem?
You can COUNT on me!


Where do grapes like to hang out?
The grape wall of China!


How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path!


What has four legs but can't walk?
A chair!


What is the most dangerous kind of dancer?
A break dancer!


What keeps jazz musicians on earth?
Groovity!


Why did the pop star eat the Popsicle?
Because she was hot!


Why did the cat eat the boy's homework?
The dog was on vacation.


Teacher: Lily, if you have 2 cents and your mom gives you 80 cents, how much would you have?
Lily: 2 cents
Teacher: Do you know your math?
Lily: Do you know my mom?


Why did they fire the cross-eyed school teacher?
Because she couldn't control her pupils!


What did the boy do with his homework?
He ate it, because he thought it was a piece of cake!


What's white and flies up?
A confused snowflake!


What did the tornado say to the other?
I got my eye on you!


What do you call a snowman in the rain forest?
A puddle!


What does a cloud wear under his pants?
Thunder wear!


There was a pink-colored panther and an ant. The panther stepped on the ant. What did the panther say?
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead antttttttt!


What was the rat's name that always tooted?
Ratatooie!


What did the mountain climber call his son?
Cliff!


Why did Batman stop going fishing?
Because Robin kept eating all the bait!


What 3 letters can you eat?
P,B,AND J !


What did the teddy bear say when he was offered another cookie?
No thanks, I'm stuffed!


Why did the banana go to the doctors?
Because it wasn't peeling well!

[5829]

The new Massachusetts Institute of Technology Cheer
M.I.T. - K.E.Y. M.O.U.S.E.

Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many [insert non-computer profession here] were on the beach and heard him cry out, "F1! F1!", but no one understood.

Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says "Hey - get out! We don't want your type in here."

SON:
"Daddy, how was I born?"
DAD:
"Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: "You've Got Male."

[Skinny Bastard]

Nerd humor.... you've got to love it... :)

[Sir Jig-A-Lot]

that shit was inevitable really.

[5829]

A kid went on Cats.com. What happened to the computer mouse?
The homepage ate it!

Why was the food afraid of the computer?
Because it might take a byte!

If a red house is made of red bricks, a yellow house is made of yellow
bricks, what is a green house made of?
Glass!

What's the tallest school?
High school!

How do teachers eat?
With u-pencils!

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
11 ( count them :t h e a l p h a b e t)

What goes ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ SLLURRRRP?
Alphabet soup!

When does 2+3 become 10?
When we do the addition wrong!

Did hear about the guy who committed suicide by drinking a can of varnish?
It was a terrible ending, but a very nice finish.

I was heading to Hooters but my wife said 'Don't bother, they have gone bust'.

[goodog]

Hey 5829

Some classic jokes there LMAO!!! :D

Best Regards

Goodog

[Skinny Bastard]

Stalin's favorite Knock knock joke:

Stalin: Knock Knock
st4|k3r: Who's there?
Stalin:

Spoiler:

I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS!