ADN

(hey! it's crystal klein.)

Looks like Fritz is on the prowl again.

^ Picture of your personal collection?!?

deepdiver32073 wrote:^ Picture of your personal collection?!?

Not much to do in The Village. Jealous?

Yeah. My collection's only half that size, dammit!

one bright day, in the middle of the night,
two dead boys, got into a fight.
they stood back-to-back, facing each other,
drew their swords, and shot each other.
a deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came over to shoot the two dead boys.
if you think this lie is true,
just ask the blind man.
he saw it too!


1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of
the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild
amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both
eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student rented out her spare room to a carpenter
in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of
needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her
mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the
world flagpole-sitting record. By the time he had come down, eight
hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his
girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut
off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking
his arm in two places. A shame as he had merely been listening to his
Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all
two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded,
trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And the last and best . . . . .
6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
You've guessed it, he opened it and said a fond farewell to his
face.