Random Shit

#91

Uh, THANKS for that.. :|

#92

STRIPPER NAMES

I got this in an email and thought I'd pass it along (I'm Diamond Leather-Cheeks):

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new
>first name:
>a = Fantasia
>b = Chesty
>c = Starr
>d = Diamond
>e = Montana
>f = Angel
>g = Sugar
>h = Mimi
>i = Lola
>j =Kitty
>k = Roxie
>l = Dallas
>m = Princess
>n = Heidi
>o = Bambi
>p = Bunny
>q = Brandy
>r = Sugar
>s = Candy
>t = Raquelle
>u = Sapphire
>v = Cinnamon
>w = Blaze
>x = Trixie
>y = Isis
>z = Jade

>2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first
>half of your new last name:
>a = Leather
>b = Dream
>c = Sunny
>d = Deep
>e = Heaven
>f = Tight
>g = Shimmer
>h = Velvet
>i = Lusty
>j = Harley
>k = Passion
>l = Dazzle
>m = Dixon
>n = Spank
>o = Glitter
>p = Razor
>q = Meadow
>r = Glitz
>s = Sparkle
>t = Sweet
>u = Silver
>v = Tickle
>w = Cherry
>x = Hard
>y = Night
>z = Amber

>3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second
>half of your new last name:
>a = hooter
>b = horn
>c = tower
>d = fire
>e = thighs
>f = hips
>g = side
>h = jugs
>i = shock
>j = cocker
>k = brook
>l = tush
>m = sizzle
>n = ridge
>o = kiss
>p = bomb
>q = cream
>r = thong
>s = heat
>t = whip
>u = cheeks
>v = rock
>w = hiney
>x = button
>y = lick
>z = juice

#93

Montana Lusty-Button..? CDR

#94

According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on
record measures 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Caramoja tribe of northern Uganda tie a weight on the end of
their penises to elongate them--sometimes to such a degree that
the men literally have to knot them up--while the Mambas of New
Hebrides wrap theirs in yards and yards of cloth, making them
look up to 17 inches long.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The most common fantasy is oral sex.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8% of us have regular anal sex.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with
two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases
of men similarly endowed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Men say the average erect penis is 10". Women say it's 4".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release
of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to
have sex.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

56% of men have had sex at work.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love
an average of three times a night, every night, until their
thirties, when the weekly average drops to a mere 14.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to
brain has been clocked at 156 miles per hour.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A honeymooning couple are suing Holiday Inn for ten thousand
dollars, claiming their sex life is now dysfunction because an
employee mistakenly walked in on them on their wedding night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At least 500 Americans die each year from asphyxia in an attempt
to lessen oxygen flow to the brain in order to induce a more
powerful orgasm.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

England's King Edward VII, a man of considerable heft, had a
special table built so that he could comfortably engage in
sexual intercourse.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

29% of us are virgins when we marry.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

58% like dirty talk during sex.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

22% rent porno flicks at least once.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was considered elegant for aristocratic ladies of the
sixteenth century to let their pubic hair grow as long as
possible so it could be pomaded and adorned with bows and
ribbon.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In fourteenth-century Europe, high-ranking noblemen were
permitted to display their genitals below a short tunic,
while those not impressively endowed could, if they chose,
wear a leather falsie called a braquette.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Given today's average frequency of sexual intercourse, it would
take the typical American couple more than four years to try
every one of the 529 positions described in the Kama Sutra.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

According to the World Health Organization, there are
approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

French President Francois Faure expired in a bordello in 1899
during the act of copulation, which so terrified his lady of the
evening that her vagina constricted intractably, necessitating
the surgical removal of the dead man's member.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each
other, they shake penises instead of hands.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Penis Facts *

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his
lifetime: 7,200

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average # of times he will ejaculate from
masturbation: 2,000

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average length when erect: 5.1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once
a day: 54%
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating
that often: 41%

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2
minutes to 2 weeks

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Average # of erections during the night: 9

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time it takes the sperm to travel the distance: 2.5 seconds

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender,
licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie.

#95

LMAO, I read that before..!

#96

I think I even posted that here before, but I didn't know if it was AF 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 or later...

#97

It's in the Random Facts thread... /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

http://www.funkinwithjerome.com/gif/She ... repuke.gif

That is quite possibly the funniest shit I've ever seen...

#98

#99

[-X :luv:

#100

I think she's trying to say that's naughty