ADN

I hate reading crap like this when others post it but I'm gonna make this post anyway. I've been romantically involved with one of my best friends (I'll call her Amy) for about 3 months or so now. I've known her for going on 7 years now. Right before we started getting more involved with each other she talked me into letting one of her friends (I'll call her Sue) stay with me for a few days while Sue tried to get back on her feet. I've lived by myself now for close to 9 years, no room mates or anything just me and for the last 5 years my dog. Reluctantly I give in and Sue moves in. I clear out my den as best as I can for her and move an end table in for her to use and a few other pieces of furniture as well. She stays a grand total of 3 days maximum and finds her a place and moves.

Now fast forward to a few days later and me and Amy start getting really close. She is ready to have sex but I'm worried about ruining the relationship since I don't have a lot of close friends and don't want to loose Amy because we have been good friends. One nite Sue sends me a text saying that if I don't do something with Amy to show her I love her that Amy is going to go talk to her neighbor and hook up with him. I text back saying that if thats what Amy wants to do thats fine, I cant stop her. She sends me a few more texts like this and I finally tell her to mind her own business. Finally she gets the hint.

A while after this me and Amy make plans for her to come up and stay all night one Friday nite. Friday gets here and I'm sick, bad sinus problems. I call her and tell her that I'm coming to get her and let her know I dont feel to good. She is at Sue's place so I go there to get her. We talk for a while and she tells me that since I don't feel good we can do what we had planned another nite. So I agree to that and ask her if she is sure that is ok. She says yes it's ok. I stay probably about another hour or so there and tell her by. Everything is fine when I leave. Not ten minutes later she is texting me on my cell phone, telling me I am just using her for sex, (we haven't even had sex at this point) and I dont really care about her. I get 3 or 4 text messages like this and I answer them reassuring her everything is ok. Finally she calls me and tells me Sue made her think all those things and she shouldn't have listened to her.

Things like this happen 4 or 5 different times they are together, Sue telling Amy to dump me, I'm using her and so on like that. Everytime I tell Amy that I'm going to talk to Sue and she say's "No, don't I'll handle it" so I never say anything to her. Sue also tells Amy that Amy is crazy for being with me instead of going back to her ex. Every time me and Amy spend any time together she gets mad, saying Amy never spends time with her and always finds some reason to text/call Amy when we are together. There has been a time or two when me and Amy had a disagreement over something not related to Sue starting it and Sue actually talked to both of us and tried to help us work things out.

Me, Amy, and Sue all work together so I try to get along with her as best as I can. Also Sue rides to work with Amy. Amy's son wrecks her car and they need a ride home from work for a couple days. So I drive them home from work both days. Sue complains about my car being cramped and dirty and not enough room for her to set. The first day she says bye when she gets out of my car and talks to Amy for a minute before we leave. The next day she doesn't say anything to me the whole way to her house and doesn't even tell either one of us bye when she gets out of the car, just slams the car door and goes straight in. No thank you, bye, have a nice day anything. Once again I let it go and don't say anything.

Amy had mentioned something to Sue one time that no one should have known anything about but us. Sue makes some comment and I tell Amy that she shouldn't have told her anything. She tells her not to say anything about it anymore.
Fast forward to 1130 today. Sue pops off with the same comment again. I've had all I can stand and I say out loud "I hate that bitch" and walk off. Fast forward to 5 hours later when I still refuse to apologize for saying what I feel I should have said a long time ago but wasn't allowed to and now Amy is pissed at me and won't return my phone calls. She says I hurt Sues feelings and that all those other times Sue was just trying to help and didn't mean to cause any problems.

So anyone got any thoughts on this for me? Did I over react or should have I said it sooner ?

you need to have sue wacked, end of story.

I don't think you were wrong. If you were, it would have been saying that statement out loud. Sometimes you've just gotta keep those in. If Sue is causing such a problem then you're gonna have do something about it. Even if Amy won't let you talk to her, you've gotta get in there and talk to Sue and explain things and find out what the hell is wrong with her.

Let her cool off, if she really wants you, she'll come to you. Do not search her out, she must come to you. Also, you need to establish some guidelines for your relationship. If your girlfriend can not except it, you need to move on and search for happiness elsewhere.

Don't be like me, I can't seem to get rid of the Soul sucking Demon Bitch in my life.

You probly shouldn't have said those exact words, but they, or something like them, needed to be said. You definitely need to talk to Amy about this, and then the two of you should go to Sue and talk to her.

All im going to say is that you bring Amy to you and explain the situation calmly. If you get pissed or she gets pissed off the situation will get out of hand and the honours will be on you to keep the situation calm and explain your feelings properly.

About sue, she is fa sho being a bitch and right now the more important person is Amy and you should just concentrate on her and not on sue.

I kinda feel sorry for you man. I wouldnt get invloved with talking too much with my gf's friends, just a hi and hello.

Thanks for the support everyone. I talked to Amy today and got her to see things from my point of view. I think things will be ok. Thanks again everyone.