A funny...
Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 4:12 pm
Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk,as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in
my bedroom?".
The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St
Peter".
Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so
much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to
send me back straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devastated, but
knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back
as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking
around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen,
how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before".
"Never" replies Brian
"Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds, an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his
emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the
first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best
thing that had happened to him... ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg
he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting, "Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting the bed"
drunk,as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in
my bedroom?".
The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St
Peter".
Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so
much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to
send me back straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devastated, but
knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back
as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking
around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen,
how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before".
"Never" replies Brian
"Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds, an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his
emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the
first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best
thing that had happened to him... ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg
he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting, "Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting the bed"