ADN

I was having the discussion about past relationships, and their effect on present and future relationships...

To me, a past relationship has little to no bearing on a present or future relationship...My reasoning, is that you can never step in the same river twice...It is almost impossible to say that a mistake you made with one person is definitely a mistake with someone else...Everyone is different, including you...What might have pissed me off in 1998 may not piss me off in 2006...We grow and mature and learn from our mistakes, but ultimately, they are our mistakes to learn from...If we don't view them as mistakes, how can we have learned anything..?

I've been in lots of relationships, and since my first heartbreak, I really haven't had any kind of problem with having a clean slate for each girl...I do know, however, that I have had a few girls with past issues that eventually ruined our relationship...But I don't think that would stop me from dating a girl with a similar issue, I'm honestly not sure how I'd look at it on a subconscious level, but I think if I cared about her, I'd give it a shot to get better...

So, how big of a part, if any, do past relationships play in current and future ones..?

but r u saying ur past relationships havent changed or affected how u were with your future ones....cos i would disagree with that

i know things i did wrong in my earlier ones after we broke up that helped make future ones better but i did end up makin the same mistakes again and even though i learned from my mistakes the 1st time u sometimes cant stop urself....

to be honest i couldnt really open up n fully trust sum1 n let them in n after the 1st time i realised this i tried not to make the same mistake again but still did anyway.....

my past 1 help me open up a lil more but in the end it was still the same old shit.... makin a mistake and realising it may not actually stop u from doin it again n again....

i mean look at serial cheaters... they know its wrong but sum pl cant just stop it even though they know its a mistake they made in a previous relationship...

It's not cheating if you know you are in an open relationship.

what's so hard to say about "I like you alot, but right now I am a sucker for temptation and can't make a commitment, even when I want to."

most people in relationships are still discovering themselves sexually... and to expect them or yourselves to have it all figured out is unrealistic. the best you can hope for is good will and good luvin.

or you can just admit you won't figure it out, and just try and keep in on lock. but then you can't run around with sex on your brain. You literally have to let her lock yo sh!t up, and decide when *she* wants to let it out. It is no longer yours, you're just hanging onto it for her.

QUOTE(cs_cdkey4 @ Oct 10 2006, 07:34 AM) but r u saying ur past relationships havent changed or affected how u were with your future ones....cos i would disagree with that

That's exactly what I'm saying...

Say for instance, you dated Dominique in high school...Your needs, situation, and expectations are (or I say should be, lol) very different than when you dated Dawn in college...I'm saying your relative position in life determines how you treat your current relationship much more than how you behaved in relationships past, even if cheating is involved...

But even if it is subconsciously, past relationships do affect your present and future relationships. You learn what you like and what you don't like in women. If a girl always does something that pisses the fuck out of you, then you probably won't date a girl that does the same thing. Now, you may not know that they have that certain feature and then find out that the girl is just such better quality that it doesn't matter, but I doubt you would date another girl that had the same annoying habit on purpose. That just seems foolish

If nothing else past relationships help you figure out who you are as a person. Whether or not it has any bearing on how you behave or what changes you make in your life you learn a lot more about you in relationships then you learn on your own.

This new found insight into your ownself does have a part on how your current relationships or the future ones will be handled. Knowing what ticks you off for example , you might not realise it untill you are with someone who ticks you off or points it out.

And I partly agree with TT that you learn about what you like and dislike about the person you want to be with. But at the same time you will realise what qualities would you like in the girl so that the whole annoying thing becomes not a problem.

At the same time A is right too that the needs at different stages in life is different however what you have learnt about yourself and the person you want to be with in the past relationships does play a huge part in your current relationship