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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:30 am
by Pete
I am not really sure where to post this. What follows is a candid, but informative list of profiles on the different sorts of personalities that exist in online forums. I felt that the topic was too serious for "Miscellaneous", but not really up to VU level either.

Anyway, I think it's good to show all the sorts of people that make up great communities like ours, and help to understand each other too.


Actually, what I will do is post each profile separately, kinda like Ty's Dictionary thread. Everyone is welcome to post their comments on each profile, or who you think shares traits with particular profiles.

I will start off with a few, and go from there. There are heaps!

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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:32 am
by Pete
Admin







Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground. Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin's enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his ax. CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat. Rebel Leader does pose a limited threat to Admin's power by fomenting a revolt and causing forum members to jump ship.

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:37 am
by Pete
Acne




Acne constantly whines about how, like... his life and everything really sucks and stuff. Usually a middle class teenager with an allowance, unlimited access to a computer and WAY too much time on his hands. Acne's vague existential arguments about the meaningless of life and emptiness of existence are culled from the lyrics of the 20 gigs of MP3s he has squirreled away on his hard drive.

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:38 am
by Pete
ALLCAPS






ALLCAPS attempts to compensate for his limited rhetorical weaponry through the extravagant use of capitalised words - something netizens refer to as SHOUTING. Sure, a sprinkling of capitalized words can add some zip to a thrust, but they should be used sparingly. Even worse from a tactical point of view, too much shouting alerts other Warriors to the opponent's verbal WEAKNESS and emotional EXCITABILITY.

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:40 am
by Pete
Android





Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous. Android's circuits are not equipped to process ambiguous or aesthetic input, consequently any extensive discussion involving personal feelings, intuition, art and metaphorical allusions will quickly drive Android from the field of battle.

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 7:15 pm
by SAMIYAM
...lol, love the descriptions accompanying images Pete. Still looking for one that represents me though...

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:00 pm
by AYHJA
Haha, I love it..! Finish the list and we shall pin it, lol...

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:07 pm
by Mandizzle
Dude this stuff is hilarious.... can't wait to see the rest.

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:27 pm
by Pete
^^ alrighty then!

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:29 pm
by Pete
Archvist




Archivist saves and squirrels away each and every discussion forum message. Do you remember having a bad day back in 1996 when in one of your messages you may have said a few things that were...well, perhaps a little...hasty? Don't worry, Archivist still has it and will post it to the forum if you begin to get the upper hand in battle. Archivist can be a very effective and fearsome Warrior.