Victoria's Secret ditching racy undies
Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 6:41 am
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/f ... ge_id=1879
The curse of sexy lingerie: Liz Jones hails Victoria's Secret for ditching racy undies
By LIZ JONES
Last updated at 10:40am on 6th March 2008
They're naff, torture to wear, and a total turn-off. As lingerie chain Victoria's Secret vows to ditch racy undies, our style guru says: About time too!
For those who have never worn sexy underwear, let me enlighten you.
It is usually red or, occasionally, black, with really hard, scratchy lace. The bra will inevitably have wiring, which will dig you in the ribs and cause horrible red marks.
It will be strewn with awful, bobbly appliqued flowers, which will protrude through your clothing as unsightly lumps, which could be mistaken for extra, unfortunately located nipples.
Claudia Schiffer wears a Victoria's Secret 'fantasy' bra. The brand wants to move from sexy to classy and feminine styles
The knickers will not be remotely warm, comfy or supportive, oh dear me, no.
They, too, will be made of scratchy lace and non-machine-washable satin, and the thong part will dig into your nether regions like a cheese wire all day long, forcing you to wriggle in your chair and occasionally surreptitiously to yank them.
The latest knickers have huge, elaborate bows at the back, which you have to tie, and which can come undone and trail behind you at the most inappropriate moment, such as getting off the bus, when the doors will close and trap you, and people will think you must surely be a pervert.
This is just so-called sexy underwear when it is covered up, during the day. The real hell starts, of course, when you take your clothes off. Most men will either laugh, or be terribly frightened.
If a man is particularly mean, he will try to catch sight of your rear end in the aforementioned thong, a garment no woman, unless she is A) Brazilian and B) 16, can possibly look good in.
But it seems that an end to this horrific torture is in sight, with the news that Victoria's Secret - the American brand famous for its "very sexy" and "fantasy" bras, and for its near-pornographic ad campaigns featuring the likes of Heidi Klum and Gisele Bundchen - is to tone it down a little.
The company's chief executive, Sharen Turney, said last week: "We use the word sexy a lot and really have forgotten the ultra feminine.
I feel so strongly about us getting back to our heritage and really thinking in terms of ultra feminine and not just the word 'sexy', and becoming much more relevant to our customer."
Well, of course, she would say that, wouldn't she, given her company's recent 12 per cent drop in profits.
But this is still good news for those of us who might not have wanted to admit that, actually, saucy underwear is about as alluring as a cold sore, as outdated for a quiet night a deux as a Demis Roussos record, and extremely draughty.
Another high-profile brand - and one of the biggest sellers in this country - to have come to its senses is Per Una at Marks & Spencer.
The company is abandoning its foamy, reinforced cups, its push-up bras and over-decorated briefs, and giving women what we really want, which is something soft, supportive and stretchy, in classy, muted tones like coffee or ice blue, and cut to flatter and not merely titillate or humiliate.
I have never been able to understand the constant slavering in the fashion press over the brand Agent Provocateur, run by Vivienne Westwood's son Joe Corre and his now ex-partner, Serena Rees.
Marks & Spencer are ditching overdecorated underwear in favour of classy, soft, supportive lingerie
I can't tell you the number of times I have walked past the window display of its Soho store and wondered, who in their right mind would wear this stuff? The corsets and suspender belts, the masks and the "pasties" (I am not going to explain what this particular garment is; you will have to go on the website yourself to look it up).
The fact David Beckham used to buy presents for his wife Victoria in this shop just about sums it up: Agent Provocateur, like all the other brands that have sprung up in the past ten years or so, the Coco de Mers and the Damarises, is for men who have no imagination, and for women who don't mind being objectified.
Let's own up to what women have known for years: sexy underwear looks cheap, not just as in inexpensive, but in that it implies its wearer is "up for it" in a really unsubtle way.
And we all know that anything too "cliched" - a mini break, a candlelit dinner, breakfast in bed on a Sunday - is doomed to fail because expectations are too high.
How much sexier is a pretty camisole and boy shorts from my favourite undie label, Hanro (which just happens to be very expensive, always good for inner poise), or an athletic white Calvin Klein vest and gym pants? Or a pretty pair of girly knickers from the new lingerie label by Stella McCartney?
Who wants to dress like a man-eater or a prostitute, or Samantha in Sex And The City?
Most important of all, who wants to attract the sort of man who finds this stuff a turn-on? No sane woman I know.
The curse of sexy lingerie: Liz Jones hails Victoria's Secret for ditching racy undies
By LIZ JONES
Last updated at 10:40am on 6th March 2008
They're naff, torture to wear, and a total turn-off. As lingerie chain Victoria's Secret vows to ditch racy undies, our style guru says: About time too!
For those who have never worn sexy underwear, let me enlighten you.
It is usually red or, occasionally, black, with really hard, scratchy lace. The bra will inevitably have wiring, which will dig you in the ribs and cause horrible red marks.
It will be strewn with awful, bobbly appliqued flowers, which will protrude through your clothing as unsightly lumps, which could be mistaken for extra, unfortunately located nipples.
Claudia Schiffer wears a Victoria's Secret 'fantasy' bra. The brand wants to move from sexy to classy and feminine styles
The knickers will not be remotely warm, comfy or supportive, oh dear me, no.
They, too, will be made of scratchy lace and non-machine-washable satin, and the thong part will dig into your nether regions like a cheese wire all day long, forcing you to wriggle in your chair and occasionally surreptitiously to yank them.
The latest knickers have huge, elaborate bows at the back, which you have to tie, and which can come undone and trail behind you at the most inappropriate moment, such as getting off the bus, when the doors will close and trap you, and people will think you must surely be a pervert.
This is just so-called sexy underwear when it is covered up, during the day. The real hell starts, of course, when you take your clothes off. Most men will either laugh, or be terribly frightened.
If a man is particularly mean, he will try to catch sight of your rear end in the aforementioned thong, a garment no woman, unless she is A) Brazilian and B) 16, can possibly look good in.
But it seems that an end to this horrific torture is in sight, with the news that Victoria's Secret - the American brand famous for its "very sexy" and "fantasy" bras, and for its near-pornographic ad campaigns featuring the likes of Heidi Klum and Gisele Bundchen - is to tone it down a little.
The company's chief executive, Sharen Turney, said last week: "We use the word sexy a lot and really have forgotten the ultra feminine.
I feel so strongly about us getting back to our heritage and really thinking in terms of ultra feminine and not just the word 'sexy', and becoming much more relevant to our customer."
Well, of course, she would say that, wouldn't she, given her company's recent 12 per cent drop in profits.
But this is still good news for those of us who might not have wanted to admit that, actually, saucy underwear is about as alluring as a cold sore, as outdated for a quiet night a deux as a Demis Roussos record, and extremely draughty.
Another high-profile brand - and one of the biggest sellers in this country - to have come to its senses is Per Una at Marks & Spencer.
The company is abandoning its foamy, reinforced cups, its push-up bras and over-decorated briefs, and giving women what we really want, which is something soft, supportive and stretchy, in classy, muted tones like coffee or ice blue, and cut to flatter and not merely titillate or humiliate.
I have never been able to understand the constant slavering in the fashion press over the brand Agent Provocateur, run by Vivienne Westwood's son Joe Corre and his now ex-partner, Serena Rees.
Marks & Spencer are ditching overdecorated underwear in favour of classy, soft, supportive lingerie
I can't tell you the number of times I have walked past the window display of its Soho store and wondered, who in their right mind would wear this stuff? The corsets and suspender belts, the masks and the "pasties" (I am not going to explain what this particular garment is; you will have to go on the website yourself to look it up).
The fact David Beckham used to buy presents for his wife Victoria in this shop just about sums it up: Agent Provocateur, like all the other brands that have sprung up in the past ten years or so, the Coco de Mers and the Damarises, is for men who have no imagination, and for women who don't mind being objectified.
Let's own up to what women have known for years: sexy underwear looks cheap, not just as in inexpensive, but in that it implies its wearer is "up for it" in a really unsubtle way.
And we all know that anything too "cliched" - a mini break, a candlelit dinner, breakfast in bed on a Sunday - is doomed to fail because expectations are too high.
How much sexier is a pretty camisole and boy shorts from my favourite undie label, Hanro (which just happens to be very expensive, always good for inner poise), or an athletic white Calvin Klein vest and gym pants? Or a pretty pair of girly knickers from the new lingerie label by Stella McCartney?
Who wants to dress like a man-eater or a prostitute, or Samantha in Sex And The City?
Most important of all, who wants to attract the sort of man who finds this stuff a turn-on? No sane woman I know.