ADN

The Weirdness of the English Language...

Let's face it
English is a weird language

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

-- found somewhere on the internet --

8-)

I agree, great share... :D

Thanks for posting.

Sounds like something from George Carlin, but I could not find a direct reference to him. But to add to this I did find the following. Don't know if these are from George either (or is it ither).

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

and you can't forget about the

from A Prairie Home Companion