ADN

Hi guys....today my question is: are love and trust ALWAYS tightly related one to the other?
Is for you guys easy to trust someone in a relationship or maybe you struggle?

I'd like to read your opinions....

Your curious BUTTERFLY

For me, both of these things are very personal...To make it simple, it is our own perceptions that shape these things...A woman will stay with a man and claim to love him, even if he beats her and hurts her...A man can claim to love with a woman, even if he never feels her touches...

Like most things, I have come to find out the the happier and more secure I become within myself, the easier these things are to accept and learn to appreciate, even if they may be flawed...

I don't trust individuals, I trust myself...I trust myself to know that people will be people...If you go into the store and leave your car door unlocked, do you trust that someone won't try to steal it..? You can spend years with a person and never really know them, so how can you decide to trust humanity..? I trust myself to make sound decisions...If I leave my door unlocked and someone steals my car, I'm the one to blame...I am accountable for it...

Love is a choice...You cannot ask someone to define it for you, its something you feel...You can't make someone love you...Nor can someone make you love them...That lets you know right there where these things form...Something inside you reacting to something else outside you...For me, it is impossible for someone to trust that another person loves them...To enjoy and fully embrace the experience, one must just trust and love themselves...How can anything end badly when you chose to be accountable for your own actions..?

We tend to view actions related to matters of the heart differently than other situations, but really, the same judgment should be applied...You see a woman and a child stranded on the side of the road and you see a tall, mysterious stranger walking on the side of the road...Who do you pick up..? Do you trust them..? Why or why not..? Trust will always start and end with the person in the mirror to me...

Perhaps my senses are more tuned to that sort of thing than most, but I can often tell within a few minutes of meeting a person what my feelings are for them...

Kumicho wrote:How can anything end badly when you chose to be accountable for your own actions..?

When it comes to matters of the heart, sadly I see very little accountability out there in the world. It is rare (And rather tragic) that people take the rap for things they did in that department.

Hey man, I feel what you're saying...I stress self control at all times...I make myself feel good, I hurt myself, I heal myself...I understand that everyone isn't able, but I believe firmly you shape your own reality...You live with the ups and downs and from there you have balance...

Or to simplify that to it's most basic : You gotta have your downs to truly appreciate your ups.

As for trust, You gotta trust in order to be trusted.

oh-wow. a question i can answer without a essay!!!

"A big part of truly loving someone is knowing what you can trust them with."

So Raum, if I don't trust someone, I don't love them?

No.

I am saying if you truly love them, then you know and accept their strengths and weaknesses. You would know what they can be trusted with, and what they might not be so trustworthy with. If you don't know what a person can and can't be trusted with, you love the idea of them or just need to validate your lust, but you don't really know them well enough to love them.

Knowing what a person can be trusted with is a part of loving them.

got it! thanks ;)

raum wrote:I am saying if you truly love them, then you know and accept their strengths and weaknesses.

Knowing what a person can be trusted with is a part of loving them.

Solid calls on both ,Sir.