SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING YOUR BITCH
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 4:27 am
Valentine's Day is coming up gentlemen and its that time to go into our pockets again. Going in our pockets to pull out our extra condom we tout around "just in case"?
No.
Going in our pocket to show that yes infact we did have a banana in our pocket, when some smart ass fag asks us?
No.
Going in our pockets "searching" for the PCP bag we accidentally left on our mom's bed only to be thanking God 5 minutes later when the cops decide to pull you over and do a "random" search based on your skin color and you being in the wrong place at the wrong time?
Nope-a-roonie.
It's Valentine's day.
Meh! Who am I kidding, I hate valentine's day. It's just an excuse for women to hit you up with all this money just to prove your love. What? Me fucking you last night and making you cum about seven times over just didn't do it for ya huh? But if I give you some chocolate then you will love me forever? Okay bitch...well we will see if I ever get your ass pregnant and then I spilt and not pay child support.
But you do have your scrumptious assortment of 12 Chocolate Tea & Tisane Blends of Valrhona Les Feves Equatorial Noir chocolated packed in attractive, re-fillable tins & presented in a handsome, wooden display box.So everything is right in the world.
Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but its time to cut to the chase on this whole Valentine's day issue. It seems to really enrage the vast cheese dog and beer quaffing nation out there when someone decides to waste his own life chasing down true love like some low-bust trail lawyer kicking his Honda Civic into 4th gear after spotting an ambulence. When they finally find that true love, they only wait one day a year to express it in the most clich†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬ ¢¢¬¢ž¢†™¢¢¬…¡¢‚¬Å¡‚© of forms. Usually this is done by people with egos as fragile as Strom Thurmonds hip. Romeos walk around wearing their cashmere sweaters, saturated in Bay Rum toxic, chewing gum with all the cockiness of one who thinks they are going to get some pussy that night. Take any one of the N†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¢†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¡¢‚¬Å¡‚¬†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¾¢‚¬Å¡‚¢Sync looking kids and put them behind a deli counter with a paper hat and day old meat stains on their apron, and the only spears they'd have their hands on would be Vlasic Kosher Dills.
I†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¢†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¡¢‚¬Å¡‚¬†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¾¢‚¬Å¡‚¢m not getting Sharon anything for Valentine†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¢†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¡¢‚¬Å¡‚¬†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¾¢‚¬Å¡‚¢s day, but she IS AND WILL buy me something. Why? Because I am a bitch and have a fragile ego and need to be constantly reinforced with high priced gifts to show that I am cared for, despite all of what the other might do for me during the rest of the year. I treat valentine's day like the rest of the year. People act as though that's the day that no one takes a shit and women who can't make a fucking proper jug of Kool-Aide is all of a sudden queens and deemed to be giving Mur and a foot message?
No.
Going in our pocket to show that yes infact we did have a banana in our pocket, when some smart ass fag asks us?
No.
Going in our pockets "searching" for the PCP bag we accidentally left on our mom's bed only to be thanking God 5 minutes later when the cops decide to pull you over and do a "random" search based on your skin color and you being in the wrong place at the wrong time?
Nope-a-roonie.
It's Valentine's day.
Meh! Who am I kidding, I hate valentine's day. It's just an excuse for women to hit you up with all this money just to prove your love. What? Me fucking you last night and making you cum about seven times over just didn't do it for ya huh? But if I give you some chocolate then you will love me forever? Okay bitch...well we will see if I ever get your ass pregnant and then I spilt and not pay child support.
But you do have your scrumptious assortment of 12 Chocolate Tea & Tisane Blends of Valrhona Les Feves Equatorial Noir chocolated packed in attractive, re-fillable tins & presented in a handsome, wooden display box.So everything is right in the world.
Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but its time to cut to the chase on this whole Valentine's day issue. It seems to really enrage the vast cheese dog and beer quaffing nation out there when someone decides to waste his own life chasing down true love like some low-bust trail lawyer kicking his Honda Civic into 4th gear after spotting an ambulence. When they finally find that true love, they only wait one day a year to express it in the most clich†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬ ¢¢¬¢ž¢†™¢¢¬…¡¢‚¬Å¡‚© of forms. Usually this is done by people with egos as fragile as Strom Thurmonds hip. Romeos walk around wearing their cashmere sweaters, saturated in Bay Rum toxic, chewing gum with all the cockiness of one who thinks they are going to get some pussy that night. Take any one of the N†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¢†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¡¢‚¬Å¡‚¬†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¾¢‚¬Å¡‚¢Sync looking kids and put them behind a deli counter with a paper hat and day old meat stains on their apron, and the only spears they'd have their hands on would be Vlasic Kosher Dills.
I†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¢†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¡¢‚¬Å¡‚¬†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¾¢‚¬Å¡‚¢m not getting Sharon anything for Valentine†™ ¢‚¬„¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¢†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¡¢‚¬Å¡‚¬†™‚¢‚¢¢¢‚¬Å¡‚¬¦‚¾¢‚¬Å¡‚¢s day, but she IS AND WILL buy me something. Why? Because I am a bitch and have a fragile ego and need to be constantly reinforced with high priced gifts to show that I am cared for, despite all of what the other might do for me during the rest of the year. I treat valentine's day like the rest of the year. People act as though that's the day that no one takes a shit and women who can't make a fucking proper jug of Kool-Aide is all of a sudden queens and deemed to be giving Mur and a foot message?