Is Your Penis Up for a Raise..?
Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:13 pm
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
*I do physical labor.
*I work at great depths.
*I plunge head first into everything I do.
*I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
*I work in a damp environment.
*I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
*I work in high temperatures.
*My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
************************************
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
*You do not work 8 hours straight.
*You fall asleep after brief work periods.
*You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
*You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
*You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
*You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
*You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
*You will retire well before you are 65.
*You are unable to work double shifts.
*You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
*And if all this is not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
*I do physical labor.
*I work at great depths.
*I plunge head first into everything I do.
*I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
*I work in a damp environment.
*I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
*I work in high temperatures.
*My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
************************************
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
*You do not work 8 hours straight.
*You fall asleep after brief work periods.
*You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
*You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
*You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
*You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
*You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
*You will retire well before you are 65.
*You are unable to work double shifts.
*You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
*And if all this is not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management