THE DONKEY
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway. It just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake the dirt off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to being happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
NOW --------
Enough of that crap . .
The donkey later came back, and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you. /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />
The Official AF Joke Thread
-
Skinny Bastard
- shady character
- Posts: 4381
- Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:14 pm
-
AYHJA
- 392
- Posts: 37990
- Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:25 pm
- Location: Washington, D.C.
- Contact:
AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was fucking great M8, thanks for sharing it..! I miss the joke thread...
That was fucking great M8, thanks for sharing it..! I miss the joke thread...
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
Skinny Bastard
- shady character
- Posts: 4381
- Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:14 pm
You could always bring it back.... /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" />
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
trashtalkr
- Sports Guru
- Posts: 7978
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 8:20 pm
- Contact:
That was good man
"If there were no eternal consciousness in a man, if at the bottom of everything there were only a wild ferment, a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything great or inconsequential; if an unfathomable insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath everything, what would life be but despair?"
Soren Kierkegaard
Soren Kierkegaard
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
AYHJA
- 392
- Posts: 37990
- Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:25 pm
- Location: Washington, D.C.
- Contact:
QUOTE(Mr. SM)You could always bring it back.... /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" />
What a brilliant idea...Damn...Sometimes, I think too hard...
Done deal..!
What a brilliant idea...Damn...Sometimes, I think too hard...
Done deal..!
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
Skinny Bastard
- shady character
- Posts: 4381
- Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:14 pm
This would be a good place for the LoTR graphics in my collection, starting with the one I posted in the avatar thread:
and from the matrix
and from the matrix
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
trashtalkr
- Sports Guru
- Posts: 7978
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 8:20 pm
- Contact:
Those are great man! Now we need DD to come in with all of his great jokes....
"If there were no eternal consciousness in a man, if at the bottom of everything there were only a wild ferment, a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything great or inconsequential; if an unfathomable insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath everything, what would life be but despair?"
Soren Kierkegaard
Soren Kierkegaard
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
AYHJA
- 392
- Posts: 37990
- Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:25 pm
- Location: Washington, D.C.
- Contact:
Man, those LOTR joints are hilarious..!!!!
DD has great jokes, and so does Disabled...I hope he comes back soon...
DD has great jokes, and so does Disabled...I hope he comes back soon...
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
Bot
- Posts: 4503
- Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:38 pm
A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |
-
deepdiver32073
- Iconoclast Extraordinaire
- Posts: 8395
- Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 4:25 pm
A Guy and girl meet at the bar and are instantly attracted to each other. They Party all night, and at the end decide to go back to his place to continue. Once there, they get passionate and start to make out. When the time is right, the girl finds the bedroom, gets undressed and gets under the covers, waiting for the guy who is now coming out of the bathroom.
The guy walks in starts to undress and stops with just his shorts on. He reaches into his pants pocket, pulls out a magic marker and hands it to her.
She takes one look at it an says, "What's this for? Are you some kinda pervert?"
He looks at her, drops his shorts and smiles kinda sexy.
She smiles, her eyes now wide open and staring in disbelief at his johnson which hangs more that halfway to his knees.
He breaks her spell by saying, "Your gonna have to draw a line somewhere, baby."
The guy walks in starts to undress and stops with just his shorts on. He reaches into his pants pocket, pulls out a magic marker and hands it to her.
She takes one look at it an says, "What's this for? Are you some kinda pervert?"
He looks at her, drops his shorts and smiles kinda sexy.
She smiles, her eyes now wide open and staring in disbelief at his johnson which hangs more that halfway to his knees.
He breaks her spell by saying, "Your gonna have to draw a line somewhere, baby."
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |