Definitions

#1

Dont think this is a repost. I got a laugh out of some of these.

Antacid ant-ass'-id: Uncle Acid's wife

Antelope ant'-a-lope: How she married my Uncle.

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's
to work at McDonald's.

Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney buh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall

Bernadette burn'-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage

Burglarize bur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with

Control kon-trol': A short, ugly inmate

Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers : Workers who put
together kitchen cabinets

Eclipse i-klips': what an English barber does for a living

Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist

Heroes hee'-rhos: what a guy in a boat does

Left Bank left' bangk': what the robber did when
his bag was full of loot

Misty mis'-tee: How golfers create divots

Paradox par'-u-doks: two physicians

Parasites par'-uh-sites: what you see from
the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist: a helper on the farm

Polarize po'-lur-ize: what penguins see with

Primate pri'-mat: removing your spouse
from in front of the TV

Relief ree-leef': what trees do in the spring

Rubberneck rub'-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife

Seamstress seem'-stres: describes 250 pounds in a size six

Selfish sel'-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does

Subdued sub-dood': like, a guy, like, works on one
of those, like, submarines, man

Sudafed sood'-a-fed: bringing litigation against
a government official

#2

Very funny stuff.

#3

ROFL...

Damn I don't know how I missed this one earlier, thanks for sharing M8...