Dear Tech Support

Bot · #1

A buddy just e-mailed me this. Fucking hilarious! lol /laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":lol:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity . Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.. (Please Read Reply)
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REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony-Child Support". I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"5.0 to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

BEST OF LUCK,
TECH SUPPORT

#2

pretty funny man... especially the last WARNING line...

#3

That is damn funny! How true it is...monitoring everything.

#4

LMAO... crack up man. Must have taken a lot of time to come up with this .... or maybe not lol

#5

lmao...that's awesome

#6

Shit, they forgot about NoSex 0.2.8 (PreRelease BETA)... :shock:

#7

And should you become weary of the problems encountered by Wife 1.0, let me assure you the later releases (Wife 2.0 and Wife 3.0) are not much better. As a matter of fact Wife 2.0 caused a MAJOR system crash requiring major expenditures to repair. Currently, Wife 3.0 is running pretty smoothly except for the problem noted by AYHJA. This can sometimes be alleviated by Sex on the Sly 4.8.2, which is a Stealth program, but occasional blips in the program cause is to become visible to the OS at which time Wife 3.0 (or any of the other releases) will completely lock up the system necessitating the purchase of Divorce Lawyer $300.00/hr. Version 6.9.

Best of Luck to any and all who install.