You're no longer a student when

#1

6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

Having sex in a single bed is absurd.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.

You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.

You know all of the people sleeping in your house.

You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.

The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.

You carry an umbrella.

Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.

You have standing orders and direct debits.

The heating works in your house.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.

You pay the government thousands of dollars every year.

You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.

Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.

You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.

Washing up is not an annual ritual.

Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.

You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.

You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub-crawls

You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.

You can't persuade your roomates to 'Drink till dawn'.

You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the Bar.

You always know where you are when you wake up.

You no longer take naps from noon to 6p.m.

A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.

A $3 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.

You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.

You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

You don't have mice living in your kitchen.

Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.

Breaking the law means doing 45 in a 35 zone.

'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'.

Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

You don't experiment with banned substances.

You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a bar.

You don't find a "dump" left in the toilet hysterically funny anymore.

#2

indeed, and such is life...

#3

Please stop reminding me how old I am...LoL...

#4

Funny how life changes, isn't it...

#5

Damn...I don't wanna get old

Bot · #6

lmao

Man, when was a $3 bottle of wine ever considered pretty good stuff? lol

#7

Someone hand me a bottle of Geritol!

#8

QUOTE(Kramer)lmao

Man, when was a $3 bottle of wine ever considered pretty good stuff? lol

when you're a poor college student looking to get a buzz! lol

#9

I guess I slowly evolved up the Anheiser Busch beer food chain...

Natural Lite
Busch Lite
Bud
Michelob.

Now besides an occasional Michelob, I think it's all piss

#10

You gotta keep moving up. Try Samuel Adams.