Before I answer Charles' comments, I shall post another picture.
I remember playing about at the back of my godfather's tuckshop (fish & chips, hamburgers, sandwiches, a lunch bar). It was in a small shopping complex on the main road (cnr Ingham Road & Percy Street to be precise) in an industrial district, across the road is the railway line. The (old) main way into Townsville. His shop was next to a butcher shop (with a statue cow on top), a laundromat, and a bottle shop and some other things.
Anyway, the back door of his shop led to a small dark passageway. It looked like the prison corridor in the Baltimore State Forensic Hospital for the Criminally Insane out of Silence of the Lambs. It was grey cement bricks & pipes and DARK. Very gloomy. Along the corridor was a left corner (to probably the back door of another shop), and I was always curious but scared to walk past that corner. But what really spooked me was the door on the other side from my godfather's shop. It opened to a room that wasn't being used. I remember seeing into it and it was really white and bleak in there.... There was this white hard table in the middle. For some odd reason, at the tender age of six, looking into that room across a dark spooky corridor, I visualised a sheep being slaughtered on that table.........................
Well, below is a picture I recently took of that particular, very dark corridor.
It seems quite absurd, looking at the following photograph, why I would conjur up such thoughts that I described earlier, and be so scared of this corridor.
The picture was taken around 5:15pm, Sunday 10th September 2006- yep, just yesterday. Broad daylight, the sun beaming down from a crisp, crystal-clear sky. Also note that the corridor has been painted, reflecting the light, unlike before when it was bare.
Still, the corner at the far end, to the left, is still beyond the range of vision. Still in the dark, still mysterious......
And those pipes at the ceiling make it seem like it's a prison ward, and those big hefty gates...
Dark, Deranged, Demented- what is it that mystifies me?
-
Pete
- Posts: 3115
- Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 9:03 am
QUOTE(raum)ruff, that is a text book suggestion...
but those of us who have seen a little into the darkness that Pete himself is looking at knows it is abit more than that. He is by far not the only person I know with homocidal tendancies, but he is one of the rare ones who has personalized them, in an attempt to understand them. this lead to a severing of the base desires associated with the pineal and pituitary bodies. that is characterist of neurotic mentality.
we call that "section 8, typical A"
Also Pete is a good friend of many of us, myself included. I was pumping my fist for Pete when most people wanted him banned, and I knew it would pay off. Ayhja was right there on his side as well.
He is a great guy, but his shadow is not as innocent as the darkness of the tunnel on the rollercoaster barrel roll. We all have our demons, but few warrant a network profile for Hell's Administrators. and if Pete were not as uncommonly strong as he is, his would.
That shadow is unconcerned with causing death as much as it is so concerned with suffering, that it would be so severe that death could be the only possible conclusion... but their would be no satisfaction in causing that death.,.. it would be a disappointing event that would be the catalyst to prompt the next victim's fate. he could easily be the composer of some horrific murderous ballads were he not as strong as he is, and had not found a vicarious interest in geology. the rock feels nothing, the stone can be crushed and it is still stone...
always looking for the one that could immortally bear the full depravity of its dark imaginings. he would have a certain "detatched amusement" to it that would be reminescent of the doctors who imposed forced sterility on young Jewish maidens just to see if they would commit suicide.
I would actually go so far as to suggest Pete has a certain inert neurosis involving a repression that fragmented his psyche at a very young age, or possibly originating before his own current consciousness developed. It appears to him as animals, usually in sacrificial scenes that have a strong biblical element that he seems to be almost completely ignorant of.
And in silence it bears down on him,.. filling the void... it whipers and whimpers. he is scared of the corridor that leads to the killer's lair, and the lunatic's cell because as he walks to that that door, the voice teases "it could be you on the other side of that door, if you but let me have the freedom I seek." because his darkness has found a victim to torture, and it is "Pete" himself. and Pete bears that burden himself so his darkness remains appeased. and the only time it really overbears his tolerance of it, is when ambience prevades, or rage surges.
and he seeks solace from it in dark music, metal and such,.. because somehow by hearing it, it shows him that it IS O.K. to have a shadow, i'ts a form of acceptance, if you will. by emulating it, he has developed an advantage of it.
and I firmly believe that he was lucky to have been born in the much more blunt and rustic Australia than in "more civilized" cultures.
but regardless, if (*god forbid*) Pete were to suffer a severe mental trauma to the right side of his skull, I would throw money on him developing an interest in taxidermy and photography that would ultimately in in human subjects by time he was in his mid fifties. and he would be puzzled by the notion he would be expected to feel remorse.
Thank you Charles. I really do appreciate your analysis. This is pretty heavy stuff, and will take more time for me to digest, but already it is starting to assist me see more into myself.
In fact I wasn't offended with the reference to Josef Mengele. Well, not much. After all why did I get sucked into that documentary on Auschwitz, and want to rent Gray Matter?
You know what? Very recently I was thinking of, when I'd finally die, instead of being buried or cremated, being stuffed like a fox and put on display in a house.... :shock:
Another thing- whenever I see an outcrop, look out if I have an Estwing in my hand! I'll smash it to smitherines! It's strange, I have this sudden urge to mutilate every foliation & crush every grain... A friend got a video of me slamming ROM ore with two hammers at once!
And in silence it bears down on him,.. filling the void... it whimpers and whimpers. he is scared of the corridor that leads to the killer's lair, and the lunatic's cell because as he walks to that that door, the voice teases "it could be you on the other side of that door, if you but let me have the freedom I seek." because his darkness has found a victim to torture, and it is "Pete" himself. and Pete bears that burden himself so his darkness remains appeased. and the only time it really overbears his tolerance of it, is when ambience prevades, or rage surges.
that paragraph, in itself is SO powerful.... I see that, even in the photo I recently took and posted...........
I'll get back to this later.
Wait up, I just want to say another thing. I say this because it's almost 7 o'clock.
...Reminds me of a Miss Marple murder story by Agatha Christie. A Murder is Announced.
People from the quite village of Chipping Cleghorn, crammed into a sitting room in a typical 1940s English house, awaiting the "murder" as advertised to happen there in the local rag. They think it's something like Cluedo, just a game. At 7 o'clock the lights go out, then the door opens and a man stands there calling out "Stick 'em up! Stick 'em up I tell you!" The torch shines on one pale-faced elderly lady shivering in her shoes, and as the torch swings over to the other side of the room, there by the middle of the room, where the mistress of the house was sitting when the lights were on- SHE is not there....
Instead she's gone out of the other door that's supposed to be not used, and behind the man at the door, gun in hand ready to shoot him.....
I find it so terrifying just seeing that SHE isn't where's she's SUPPOSED to be, just seeing the wall, and knowing she's left to commit murder- freaks me out.... That blank wall is like that corridor......
but those of us who have seen a little into the darkness that Pete himself is looking at knows it is abit more than that. He is by far not the only person I know with homocidal tendancies, but he is one of the rare ones who has personalized them, in an attempt to understand them. this lead to a severing of the base desires associated with the pineal and pituitary bodies. that is characterist of neurotic mentality.
we call that "section 8, typical A"
Also Pete is a good friend of many of us, myself included. I was pumping my fist for Pete when most people wanted him banned, and I knew it would pay off. Ayhja was right there on his side as well.
He is a great guy, but his shadow is not as innocent as the darkness of the tunnel on the rollercoaster barrel roll. We all have our demons, but few warrant a network profile for Hell's Administrators. and if Pete were not as uncommonly strong as he is, his would.
That shadow is unconcerned with causing death as much as it is so concerned with suffering, that it would be so severe that death could be the only possible conclusion... but their would be no satisfaction in causing that death.,.. it would be a disappointing event that would be the catalyst to prompt the next victim's fate. he could easily be the composer of some horrific murderous ballads were he not as strong as he is, and had not found a vicarious interest in geology. the rock feels nothing, the stone can be crushed and it is still stone...
always looking for the one that could immortally bear the full depravity of its dark imaginings. he would have a certain "detatched amusement" to it that would be reminescent of the doctors who imposed forced sterility on young Jewish maidens just to see if they would commit suicide.
I would actually go so far as to suggest Pete has a certain inert neurosis involving a repression that fragmented his psyche at a very young age, or possibly originating before his own current consciousness developed. It appears to him as animals, usually in sacrificial scenes that have a strong biblical element that he seems to be almost completely ignorant of.
And in silence it bears down on him,.. filling the void... it whipers and whimpers. he is scared of the corridor that leads to the killer's lair, and the lunatic's cell because as he walks to that that door, the voice teases "it could be you on the other side of that door, if you but let me have the freedom I seek." because his darkness has found a victim to torture, and it is "Pete" himself. and Pete bears that burden himself so his darkness remains appeased. and the only time it really overbears his tolerance of it, is when ambience prevades, or rage surges.
and he seeks solace from it in dark music, metal and such,.. because somehow by hearing it, it shows him that it IS O.K. to have a shadow, i'ts a form of acceptance, if you will. by emulating it, he has developed an advantage of it.
and I firmly believe that he was lucky to have been born in the much more blunt and rustic Australia than in "more civilized" cultures.
but regardless, if (*god forbid*) Pete were to suffer a severe mental trauma to the right side of his skull, I would throw money on him developing an interest in taxidermy and photography that would ultimately in in human subjects by time he was in his mid fifties. and he would be puzzled by the notion he would be expected to feel remorse.
Thank you Charles. I really do appreciate your analysis. This is pretty heavy stuff, and will take more time for me to digest, but already it is starting to assist me see more into myself.
In fact I wasn't offended with the reference to Josef Mengele. Well, not much. After all why did I get sucked into that documentary on Auschwitz, and want to rent Gray Matter?
You know what? Very recently I was thinking of, when I'd finally die, instead of being buried or cremated, being stuffed like a fox and put on display in a house.... :shock:
Another thing- whenever I see an outcrop, look out if I have an Estwing in my hand! I'll smash it to smitherines! It's strange, I have this sudden urge to mutilate every foliation & crush every grain... A friend got a video of me slamming ROM ore with two hammers at once!
And in silence it bears down on him,.. filling the void... it whimpers and whimpers. he is scared of the corridor that leads to the killer's lair, and the lunatic's cell because as he walks to that that door, the voice teases "it could be you on the other side of that door, if you but let me have the freedom I seek." because his darkness has found a victim to torture, and it is "Pete" himself. and Pete bears that burden himself so his darkness remains appeased. and the only time it really overbears his tolerance of it, is when ambience prevades, or rage surges.
that paragraph, in itself is SO powerful.... I see that, even in the photo I recently took and posted...........
I'll get back to this later.
Wait up, I just want to say another thing. I say this because it's almost 7 o'clock.
...Reminds me of a Miss Marple murder story by Agatha Christie. A Murder is Announced.
People from the quite village of Chipping Cleghorn, crammed into a sitting room in a typical 1940s English house, awaiting the "murder" as advertised to happen there in the local rag. They think it's something like Cluedo, just a game. At 7 o'clock the lights go out, then the door opens and a man stands there calling out "Stick 'em up! Stick 'em up I tell you!" The torch shines on one pale-faced elderly lady shivering in her shoes, and as the torch swings over to the other side of the room, there by the middle of the room, where the mistress of the house was sitting when the lights were on- SHE is not there....
Instead she's gone out of the other door that's supposed to be not used, and behind the man at the door, gun in hand ready to shoot him.....
I find it so terrifying just seeing that SHE isn't where's she's SUPPOSED to be, just seeing the wall, and knowing she's left to commit murder- freaks me out.... That blank wall is like that corridor......
| BBcode: | |
| Hide post links |