Paris Hilton Can't Tell Drugs From Gum

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Paris Hilton Can't Tell Drugs From Gum

Paris Hilton is Now a "COPS" Cliche
By James Lileks
August 31, 2010

Paris Hilton's latest booking photo
This may be more serious than first reported. And by “serious” we mean trying to keep from laughing until your eardrums hurt:

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton was charged with felony cocaine possession but denied the drugs found in the purse she carried were hers, US media reported. People magazine said Hilton faces up to four years in prison if convicted on the drug charge.

Following the socialite's weekend arrest with her boyfriend, Las Vegas nightclub executive Cy Waits, police said they found 0.8 grams (.03 ounces) of cocaine, wrappers typically used to roll marijuana cigarettes, asthma medication and 1,300 dollars in cash.

Police pulled over the black SUV Waits was driving on Las Vegas' renowned Strip after smelling marijuana emanating from the vehicle.

So she’s got illegal stuff in her purse, and is driving around Vegas with billowing clouds of chronic rolling out of the windows. We continue:
An arrest report cited by US media said Hilton was escorted to a hotel "at her request" to use the bathroom shortly after police stopped the car. While in a holding room, she took lip balm from her purse.

"As she began to open it, I saw a small bundle of what I believed to be cocaine in a clear baggy begin to fall from the purse and into my hand," Lieutenant Dennis Flynn of the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department wrote in the report.

Asked whose cocaine was in the purse, Hilton told Flynn she "had not seen it" and thought it was chewing-gum, according to the report.

Anyone who’s seen COPS knows what she’s going to say next:
Hilton also told police she had borrowed the purse and that the cosmetics did not belong to her, though the asthma medication, cash, credit cards and Zig-Zag wrappers were hers.

Yes, it’s someone else’s purse. This is an iron rule of COPS: you’re totally innocent and you just borrowed a purse and your friend didn’t say it had drugs and you didn’t see if it had drugs but honestly they’re not mine they’re someone else’s - what, are they my friend’s, and what’s her name? I don’t know if they’re hers! Someone could have put them in there!

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