Superhero Jokes
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¡ñ±£¿®∆L Ф¶†ïς@п
- Resident Cryptologist
- Posts: 4413
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:49 am
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¡ñ±£¿®∆L Ф¶†ïς@п
- Resident Cryptologist
- Posts: 4413
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:49 am
-
¡ñ±£¿®∆L Ф¶†ïς@п
- Resident Cryptologist
- Posts: 4413
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:49 am
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¡ñ±£¿®∆L Ф¶†ïς@п
- Resident Cryptologist
- Posts: 4413
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:49 am
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¡ñ±£¿®∆L Ф¶†ïς@п
- Resident Cryptologist
- Posts: 4413
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:49 am
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¡ñ±£¿®∆L Ф¶†ïς@п
- Resident Cryptologist
- Posts: 4413
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:49 am
Room, in a vacuum
There is a big room with four corners.
In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman.
In the third corner you find Spiderman. And in the fourth corner you find a gorgeous,
extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with an ultra-thin magazine-model figure.
In the center of the room there is a pot of gold. Who gets to the pot of gold first?
In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman.
In the third corner you find Spiderman. And in the fourth corner you find a gorgeous,
extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with an ultra-thin magazine-model figure.
In the center of the room there is a pot of gold. Who gets to the pot of gold first?
Spoiler:
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¡ñ±£¿®∆L Ф¶†ïς@п
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Superhero Tips
Thinking of becoming a superhero? Here are some useful pointers.
1. Don't call yourself by your real name, e.g. Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.
2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name, e.g. Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.
3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess, e.g. Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.
4. Don't be too modest, e.g. Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-So, Fairly Incredibleman.
5. But don't labor the point, e.g. Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.
6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image, e.g. Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil
7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.
8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is self-control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenial hole-in-the-heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.
9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.
10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.
11. Don't call yourself the Invisible Lady if you're a man -- even if you do feel like a woman trapped in a man's body.
12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable-to-Strontium 90.
13. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.
*courtesy call
1. Don't call yourself by your real name, e.g. Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.
2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name, e.g. Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.
3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess, e.g. Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.
4. Don't be too modest, e.g. Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-So, Fairly Incredibleman.
5. But don't labor the point, e.g. Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.
6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image, e.g. Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil
7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.
8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is self-control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenial hole-in-the-heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.
9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.
10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.
11. Don't call yourself the Invisible Lady if you're a man -- even if you do feel like a woman trapped in a man's body.
12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable-to-Strontium 90.
13. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.
*courtesy call
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The Bank Job
Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.
"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She quickly states, and heads into into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...then ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all tied up in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out...with his pants down!
Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!
"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She quickly states, and heads into into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...then ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all tied up in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out...with his pants down!
Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!
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Night Moves
Scenario: Batman and Robin are camping in the desert.
After a long day's crusadering, they set up their tent and fall fast asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend and prompts. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Robin eager, yet hesitant, replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems as though we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why - what does it tell you, Batman?"
Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:
"Robin, you simpleton, someone has taken off with our tent."
After a long day's crusadering, they set up their tent and fall fast asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend and prompts. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Robin eager, yet hesitant, replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems as though we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why - what does it tell you, Batman?"
Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:
"Robin, you simpleton, someone has taken off with our tent."
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