Tough Love

#1

Yesterday, I had to put my wife in the hospital. She wasn't happy about it. Not at all. She's been depressed a lot lately and her medication was messed up big time, so with our doctor's advice, I took her to a new psychiatrist who (with me agreeing totally) said she needed to be admitted. As I said, she wasn't happy. She wanted to try things outpatient, but I didn't think that was going to work and neither did the psychiatrist. So she went... cursing me and saying vile things about and to me. I know this is hard for those who haven't lived through anything like this to understand, but I love her enough to do things that piss her off royally. The last thing she said to me before they took her back to her room was, "You better hope to God this works, because if it doesn't, we're done!" So... that's where things stand right now. I don't know how long her stay will be. I don't know if I'll have a wife when she comes out of the hospital. It hurts in a big way to think that after all we've been through, this might be the end, but as long as she's better at the end of it all, I'll be satisfied. Maybe not happy, but satisfied.

#2

Double D,you're in my thoughts brother. Just remember, you're doing what you have to in order to help your wife get better, and in time she will see that too.

She's very lucky to have you to help her through such a tough time....keep your chin up and remain strong.

#3

Thanks Rim. I hope and pray that she sees that what I did was for her benefit, that I'm not trying to "put her away" as she said last night. Regardless of what happens in the future, I'm confident that what I did was for the best for both of us.

#4

Deepdiver,

I know you are a wise enough cat to agree. What you did is best, but not a sure thing.

Based on my assessment of most people, I am led to believe an idle mind degrades to an unhappy mind, and eventually, that becomes the common frequency for thought patterns which actually begin to affect the brain's chemistry, and may need chemical intervention to stabilize.

I trust you know you and your wife have my prayers, for her recovery and understanding, and your enduring this good fight for the joy of your lover.

vertical,
raum

#5

Thank you. This has been a battle that she has fought for over 20 years, and I've only been in the picture for about 3. Much of her issues are from her distant past which, while I can understand, I can do nothing about. I've tried to get her to see the benefit of intensive therapy, but she discounts it and prefers the chemical numbness. I'm hoping that her hospital stay this time will force her to address some of these issues, but the onus is on her to open up. No one can help a person that doesn't want to be helped and I'm beginning to be afraid that that is where she's at.

I appreciate your prayers. This place is and always has been a source of strength and comfort for me.

#6

As Rim said i trust you are doing the right thing, and that, beside the tragic situation, is a valid reason to keep doing it, hope you two the best.

#7

Thanks Fapper. I appreciate the thoughts.

#8

DD, I admire your tough love, especially with such a lack of it today.

I read an article in a magazine about how America is slowly becoming a nation of wimps due to hyperparenting, and us always lowering the standards for those who "can't" achieve it instead of telling them "too bad. maybe next time." Never underestimate tough love..It was something my parents didn't give a lot of to me (I wasn't really spoiled as a lil kid, just soft as fuck), and I have been trying to recover ever since I became aware of it. I've done a lot to "un-wimp" myself but it's still hard...I think you made the right decision, and I will be hoping and praying, wishing and crossing my fingers that this works out for you. Always remember, without the hard times, the easy times would feel worthless..

#9

This is a tough situation and getting through it will be hard, but in the end it will be worth it. It's going to deepen you're relationship and will make both of you stronger.

You and you're wife are in my prayers

#10

Sorry DD. I know it's hard, but you have to do the right thing.

Did I mention that divorces are what I do for a living? Haha...