The Biggest Scandals in Super Bowl History

#1

The Biggest Scandals in Super Bowl History
Cocaine, murder, prostitution ... the biggest scandals in Super Bowl history
By Mac Montandon

PERSONAL FOUL Unsportsmanlike behavior, penalty, 10 yardsSunday's Super Bowl will bring out the best in certain players: heroic courage, unbridled passion, fearless leadership, and other hackneyed descriptors best left to the booming baritone of the legendary NFL Films narrator, John Facenda. But the biggest day in American consumerism sports could very likely bring out some other things, too, like cocaine possession, the soliciting of prostitution, or murder. Which, you have to admit, is much more interesting. That's why we are pleased to present Radar's Super Bowl Guide I. Because who doesn't love Roman numerals? To kick things off (we couldn't resist), please join us as we look back at a double homicide, a gentlemanly request for a $40 blow job, Dan Quayle, and IV more of the worst plays ever seen in our nation's great championship football game.

Super Bowl IV
Year: 1970
Location: New Orleans, Louisiana

The Play: Five days before the Chiefs are to face the Vikings, NBC reports that the FBI is investigating possible illicit activities involving Kansas City's star quarterback Len Dawson, Joe Namath, three other NFL quarterbacks, and a shady Motor City gambler with the alliterative and decidedly bad-ass sounding name of Donald "Dice" Dawson. The feds had been tipped off to phone calls Dice Dawson made to Len, asking after the condition of his knee and about the recent death of his dad. Hmmm”why would a notorious professional gambler be interested in such things? Must just be a big old teddy bear at heart.
Anyway, the investigation was gathering steam and threatening to derail the Chief's title dreams when a guy who famously knew a thing or two about the law and breaking it intervened. President Nixon himself reassured Kansas City coach Hank Stram before the game: "I know there is nothing to the rumors," Tricky Dick told Stram in a phone conversation, according to the St. Petersburg Times. And just like that”poof!”the FBI investigation quietly ended. "Nixon killed the whole investigation," Bill Matney, the NBC reporter who broke the story, told the paper. "I'm not saying that Dawson did anything wrong. All I'm saying is that Nixon's phone calls put the investigation on ice."

Post-game analysis: Dawson and the Chiefs then put the Vikings on ice, too. Chiefs fans could breath easy, knowing this was not going to become football's version of the 1919 Black Sox scandal, in which eight members of the Chicago White Sox conspired with gamblers to intentionally lose the World Series. As the smoke settled, it remained unclear if the feds were partly basing their hunch on the fact that Len Dawson and Donald "Dice" Dawson share a last name. If Len Dawson was distracted by recent events during the game, it didn't seem to matter: he completed 12 of 17 passes for 142 yards, with one touchdown and one interception, which in those days was good enough to earn the MVP award. It should be noted that neither Len Dawson nor Donald "Dice" Dawson has ever been linked to Richard Dawson, the former host of Family Feud.

Super Bowl XXIII
Year: 1989
Location: Miami, Florida

The Play: It's about 8 p.m. on the night before the Cincinnati Bengals are to play the San Francisco 49ers for the right to make out with a really gaudy trophy. While the rest of the Bengals gather in a conference room at the local Holiday Inn for final preparations, fullback Stanley Wilson is nowhere to be seen. "I forgot my playbook," he'd told teammates, "I'll meet you guys downstairs." As the minutes pass with Wilson still missing, coach Sam Wyche mounts a search. What he finds is the starting fullback and notorious coke-head in the throes of yet another wild cocaine binge, sweaty and twitching on the bathroom floor.

Post-game analysis: Wilson continued to struggle with his addiction long after the Bengals were defeated by the 49ers, 20 - 16. He's been in and out of California courts and prison on charges of indecent exposure and charges related to his cocaine habit. He is currently serving a 22-year sentence for drug possession in a California state penitentiary in Los Angeles.

Being the cohesive franchise it is, the Bengals still carry the law-breaking torch Wilson once lit so brilliantly. Why, in just over this past season, nine different Cincinnati players have been arrested for everything from drug possession to driving under the influence to carrying a concealed weapon to supplying booze to minors. Cheap booze, even. That lawless list includes six of the 16 players the Bengals have drafted in the past two years. Now team president Mike Brown is reconsidering his approach to this year's draft. "There may be some gifted athletes we won't pick that we might have picked a year ago," Brown recently told the Cincinnati Enquirer. Uh, good move. The situation has gotten so bad lately, the squad's management had to implement a 24-hour hotline players can call when they are too hammered to drive and need a lift. Yes, when it comes to fucking up, the Bengals always give 110 percent, try to take it to the next level, and just play it one felony at a time.

Super Bowl XXVII
Year: 1993
Location: Pasadena, California

The Play: During the game's broadcast, vice presidential punch line and notorious non-spellchecker Dan Quayle jokes about his inability to nail the spelling of potato in a Frito-Lay ad for its new Wavy Lays line of chips. Remarkably, the space-time continuum does not collapse into itself and play to continues; Dallas routes Buffalo, 52-17.

Post-game analysis: Hard to imagine what Frito-Lay was thinking. Attaching Quayle to a product has rarely been good for business. Both of the books he "wrote" in the '90s, Standing Firm and Worth Fighting For, can now be had on Amazon for one cent each. And he remains the only living former VP never to have been nominated by his party for president. A 30-second spot during this year's Super Bowl will cost a cool $2.6 million”so don't expect any company to take a similar gamble by offering the dashing and charismatic Dick Cheney a gig. And whatever happened to Wavy Lays? You can get a bag on eBay for six bucks. Still fresh!

Super Bowl XXXIII
Year: 1999
Location: Miami, Florida

The Play: Less than 24 hours before kickoff, devoutly religious Atlanta Falcons safety Eugene Robinson is arrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover police officer. He is alone at the time, driving a rental car along a remarkably seedy Biscayne Boulevard in downtown Miami. The kicker? Earlier in the day, Robinson had been awarded the Bart Starr Award by the faith-based organization Athletes in Action, which noted his "high moral character." The speedy safety had then spent the afternoon lounging by the hotel pool with his wife, Gia, and their two kids.

Post-game analysis: As players prepare for the Super Bowl, they face monumental amounts of pressure, so of course they're going to look for outlets to help them relax. We don't begrudge Robinson that. What is inexcusable, however, is the amount of cash Robinson offered, according to the police report, in exchange for oral sex: a measly $40. From a guy whose salary was $1.8 million that season? Pretty sure that's not the red zone the falcons' defensive coordinator had in mind.

Super Bowl XXXIV
Year: 2000
Location: Atlanta, Georgia

The play: A Super Bowl party at the Cobalt Lounge in Atlanta's bustling Buckhead neighborhood takes a turn for the much worse, when revelers get into an All-Pro-quality brawl. The dustup rolls outside onto the street where two of the men involved are stabbed to death. Three partygoers are subsequently arrested for the murders”including menacing Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, whose team isn't even playing in that year's Super Bowl.

Post-game analysis: During his court testimony, the driver of the stretch Lincoln Navigator that whisked Lewis and his two friends from the scene of the crime recounted the events using Lewis's own words: quoth the Raven, "Just keep your mouths shut and don't say nothing." Poor grammar aside, this may have been Lewis's best postseason play ever. He later pleaded guilty to an obstruction of justice misdemeanor charge in exchange for 12 months of probation and testimony against his buddies. Ah, teamwork. Lewis's lackeys were eventually acquitted of murder charges and the families of both victims settled with the linebacker for $2 million. Who says football players are dumb?

Super Bowl XXXVII
Year: 2003
Location: San Diego, California

The Play: The day before the Big Game, Oakland Raiders All-Pro center Barret Robbins goes AWOL and is found in a Tijuana dive bar (yes, we know, that's redundant), wasted and weeping into another shot of tequila. Robbins, who suffers from bipolar disorder, misses the championship game, and is instead confined to a mental institution and placed on suicide watch. (Oh, and the Raiders lose to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 48 - 21). After the season, Robbins' supportive teammate Frank Middleton is quoted as saying: "If Barret Robbins comes back [next season], I won't." Go team!

Post-game analysis: Amazingly, this was just the beginning of the 380-pound Robbins's troubles. The Raiders released him in 2004 after he tested positive for steroids. The following year, police were called to a disturbance at South Beach's Playwright Pub, where they encountered an out-of-control Robbins. In the ensuing melee, according to AP, the former footballer "beat one police officer to the floor, slammed another into a wall, and rammed a third officer's head into a wall." He was then shot two times, including once in the heart. The burly 32-year-old somehow survived and last summer was placed on five years' probation in a plea deal, provided he continues to seek treatment for his disorder. All the gigantic foam No. 1 fingers in the world can't make this a happier story.

Super Bowl XLI
Year: 2007
Location: Miami, Florida

The Play: This year's game hasn't even happened yet and we've already seen one of the worst plays ever. In an advertisement set to air on Sunday (did we mention they go for $2.6 million per 30 seconds?) for Nationwide Insurance, Kevin Federline is put in the role of fry guy in a fast food restaurant, coming to grips with his post-Britney fall from grace”if that's what you want to call it. The spot's theme: Life Comes At You Fast. The National Restaurant Association is wasting no time logging complaints on behalf of its 12.8 million members. "The ad is offensive to anyone who works in the restaurant industry," the association's Steven Anderson told ABC. K-Fed handling our fries? With all due respect, Mr. Anderson, you don't need to work in any particular industry to be offended by such an image.

Post-game analysis: Get back to us on Monday.

#2

LMFAO @ that last comment...Man, I have seen that commercial, and it is fucking hilarious..! K-Fed definitely doesn't take himself too seriously, and gained a few props from me for doing that spot...

#3

Yeah, I know what you mean.
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Kickers and Punters Gone Wild

Kickers and punters aren't the mild-mannered, worthless Europeans they used to be. They can stir up trouble just as well as a coked-up middle linebacker. These 10 guys are the proof.

10. Mike Vanderjagt
The recently jilted Cowboys kicker wasn't popular in Indianapolis either. After bad-mouthing quarterback Peyton Manning and head coach Tony Dungy, Manning blasted him for being an "idiot kicker." Compared to the rest of the guys on this list, however, Vanderjagt is a borderline Mensa candidate.

9. Chris Hanson
Lumberjacks and homicidal maniacs can be trusted with axes”they only hurt trees and other people. Punters, however, should be kept far away from axes. The Jaguars learned this lesson when Hanson hacked open a gash in his leg while chopping a tree trunk in the locker room. (Don't ask. You really don't want to know the hows and whys of tree trunks in NFL locker rooms.)

8. Jeff Gomulinski
Come on, Jeff. We know it can be hard for a Boston College punter to get a girl”"Hey, you know when the team sucks and can't get a first down? I'm the guy they call in."”but that really doesn't mean you have to resort to kidnapping. Locking a girl in your room and begging for loving never works. All you ever get is a restraining order.

7. Todd Sauerbrun
Fat, 'roided up and West Virginian is no way to go through life.

6. Josh Brown
As a kicker, it's pretty rare that a girl will speak to you, let alone date you. So we completely understand why Nebraska kicker Josh Brown had to attack the guy dating his ex-girlfriend. What we can't understand is what kind of a guy allows Josh Brown to kick his ass?

5. Sebastian Janikowski
At this point, it's not really surprising when Janikowski gets arrested. Charges filed (and eventually dismissed) against the slippery when fat Raiders kicker have included drunken driving, evidence tampering, bribing a police officer, assault, vandalism, and drug possession.

4. Kyle Keown
As if being the Vanderbilt punter wasn't low enough on the respect totem pole, Keown is now known as the Vandy punter who smacks girls and fights like a girl. When his roommate tried to break up a fight between Keown and his girlfriend, Keown responded by grabbing him by his man berries and giving it a good yank.

3. Lawrence Tynes
Apparently the rule about not fucking with a drunken Scotsman (We'll never forget the night Sean Connery kicked our asses) applies to Chiefs kickers as well. According to a police report, Tynes broke a bouncer's nose in a bar fight during training camp.

2. Mitch Cozad
You know what's even worse than being the punter at Northern Colorado? Being the backup punter. Cozad's solution to that problem”stabbing the starter in the leg”is not one we'd recommend, however.

1. Cole Ford
The former Raiders kicker tried to finish what the tiger started when he blasted a hole in the door of Siegfried and Roy's home in a drive-by shooting. No one really knows why he attacked the Vegas magicians, but honestly, can you really blame him?