Redneck Church

#1

You know you're in a Redneck Church if....

1. You know you're in a Redneck Church if the Finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck
because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of"

6. You Know You're in a Rednek Church if the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the
church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the collection plates are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."

#2

You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck
because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of"

Fucking hilarious list M8..!!

#3

LMFAO!!! What an awesome list. Thanks for sharing

#4

I've been to some of these!

Really!

The funniest one was right before the New Year in 1999 when everyone was all worried about what the year Y2K would bring. I had gone to this little country church at the invitation of a friend and the preacher's sermon was on the Horrors we would face when 2000 rolled around. But what got me tickled and chewing on the inside of my cheeks was every time he MEANT to say Y2K, he said KY2!!! OMG! It was all I could do not to bust out laughing the entire service! As it was, he was, we "slid" right into 2000 without too much trouble, so maybe KY2 was right! LOL

#5

I got some sick puppies for email friends!

#6

Disabled Strikes Again!....

you always have some good shit man...

classic