Only a Southerner Knows
- deepdiver32073
- Iconoclast Extraordinaire
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Only a Southerner Knows
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,beans, etc., make up "a mess." ... and we ain't given our secrets away to no Yankees.
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly." The Cornish also know this secret, but they 'ain't tellin' either.
Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
In the South, 'y'all' is singular....'all y'all" is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by our Southerness:
Taketwo tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a Second Language!
And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern but have lived here for a long, long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Bless your hearts, all y'all have a good 'un (blessed day)! And ya'll come back now - hear.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,beans, etc., make up "a mess." ... and we ain't given our secrets away to no Yankees.
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly." The Cornish also know this secret, but they 'ain't tellin' either.
Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
In the South, 'y'all' is singular....'all y'all" is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by our Southerness:
Taketwo tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a Second Language!
And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern but have lived here for a long, long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Bless your hearts, all y'all have a good 'un (blessed day)! And ya'll come back now - hear.
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"Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. "
I may be from "up north" but I know that one damn straight!
I may be from "up north" but I know that one damn straight!
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QUOTE(Lost Ghost)no...you're from "another country"
Don' matter, still all cunntree bumpkins.. :geek :gap:
Don' matter, still all cunntree bumpkins.. :geek :gap:
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- AYHJA
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I was over yonder, and didn't even see this post, LoL...Funny, but so funny because its true..!
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- Skinny Bastard
- shady character
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Another country? I didn't know Pete was from TEXAS!!!! (LMAO)
"I looked all over Hell and 1/2 of Georgia" is one of my personal favorits that I learned when I was "knee high to a grasshopper" in B'ham Alabama.
And by the way, I love to eat grits almost as much as I love to eat G.R.I.T.S. (the second one being Girls Raised In The South) /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" />
"I looked all over Hell and 1/2 of Georgia" is one of my personal favorits that I learned when I was "knee high to a grasshopper" in B'ham Alabama.
And by the way, I love to eat grits almost as much as I love to eat G.R.I.T.S. (the second one being Girls Raised In The South) /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" />
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- deepdiver32073
- Iconoclast Extraordinaire
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Dammit! You took my line! LOL I've been having trouble here lately trying to get on in the evening and my damned computer keeps farting out on me.
Nothing better in the world than eating hot, buttery G.R.I.T.S. Yum!!!
Nothing better in the world than eating hot, buttery G.R.I.T.S. Yum!!!
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